Considering the number of men here who absolutely, loudly, and unequivocally refuse, for example, to even entertain the idea of having sex with an even slightly overweight woman, to the point of expressing nausea and digust, I find it hard to believe that all men are running around with no "standards" whatsoever, "un-pickily" just taking whatever comes down the pike.

It may be true to an extent, but really, the mind boggles. I don't see it. (Didn't somebody here say it was just as easy for a guy to pay a $50 professional as it was for a girl to put an ad online? Seems to be about the same level of yuk, if you ask me.)

Not materially, no - neither is lying down with your eyes closed and sleeping (but they sure ain't the same)! Memories and experiences are not concrete - they live on in your mind for the rest of your life. If I never have sex again, the fun, for example, that my college sweetie and I shared in our dorm will always be a part of my life - her feel, the way she looked, the way she smelled - her taste. I was a late bloomer - 20 (I was also very shy, and backed away from sex with various girlfriends from the time I was 13, always afraid they'd laugh at my skinnyness), so i can relate to the fears and insecurities - what i don't understand is the lack of rational adult thinking - stuff that should be dealt with early in life, not late 20s, mid 30s or early 40s! (There's plenty of rational fears to work though without letting irrational fears dictate your life).

At 43, I still regret that I didn't fuck my 17 year old GF (when I was 17) - she was so beautiful and I was so nervous and she refused to take the lead, relying on me (the man) to do that work. Luckily I didn't allow my fears to dictate forever, overcoming my nerves (and my virginity) by stealing a line from Risky Business (sometimes you just gotta say, "fuck it."). That movie was playing on campus as a second run, and I took those words to heart - doing the deed just shy of my 21st birthday, marveling at how easy and unremarkable the experience was - and once complete, allowing me to fully develop as a sexual being.

get over it folks - it's just sex - and learn to live!

From personal experience(25 years old, virgin, and till last year not even fooled around with any one) I think that what makes it difficult for virgins after a certain age is the assumptions people make about virginity, the usual comments that you must be unattractive, asexual , religious or conservative(not that there is anything to criticise on people who choose to be virgins for reasons of moral conviction).Myself an atheist and with a fairly liberal upbringing.Reasons in my case have to do with being very reserved person since childhood, not much of a social life, spent my younger years engaged too much in academic work(still so). For instance why is it assumed that we will expect too much of a first partner and possibly turn into some sort of stalker?Personally, I just expect someone to feel comfortable with not the knight in shining armour. last year I met someone and there was some interest but I felt uncomfortable to express myself and be sexual with him even in a restricted way for fear of being criticised if felt uncomfortable to continue.

Others in similar situations have suggested that it is better not to reveal virginity status.In social situations whenever the subject of sex/relationships arise I try to avoid the topic. However,when I found myself in an intimate situation, i preferred to say because i didn't want the person to think my reservations were because of him and make him feel rejected as we had been friends sometime before getting into a sexual situation.He had more or less figured it out anyway but very understanding told me not to be uncomfortable or pressurised , and generally helped me express myself sexually even though we didn't have sex in the end.

On people becoming more reticent on learning prospective partner a virgin: happened in my case but there were other factors(moving away, the guy meeting someone else).He admitted that my reservations put him off but overall he behaved well towards me and at least help me overcome my reticence towards men in general. people mention they would never get involved with virgins for a variety of reason, I can see their perspective only i suggest they should avoid the stereotyping on virgins as each person has their individual choices and circumstances that shape their sexuality.

In the end it is no longer acceptable to criticese people on the basis of their sexual history so why should lack of it provide grounds for comment? It is for each one to decide how to proceed with their sexual life, you shouldn't let people make you feel inadequate or doubt you self worth because of lack of sexual experience

The idea that because you haven't had a penis in your vagina, you are somehow clueless about sex in general is ridiculous. Ben, the sensitive poster, said he was exasperated with his girlfriend because she hadn't had sex in a while so she didn't know/remember how to do somethings? And it bothered you? I may be a virgin, and under the assumption that most men are like you, I'm glad I am.

Look, you can speak French without having ever been to France. Sure, being in France might help your accent, but the basics are all there. There are countless of resources available to see how it's done (books, magazine, girlfriends, HBO). I'm an experienced belly dancer and masturbate very often. I'm comfortable with my body, even though the right opportunity hasn't come along.

As far as the poster who said that it's highly unlikely that an attractive, well-adjusted woman would not have had a relationship that led to sex in the whole of their 20's, not everyone has had relationships. I know plenty of women who haven't had relationships, even if they have had sex, for several reasons. Posters and asses like Ben and all the other women-haters might be part of the reason!!!