When I was 13 years old, I liked girls with stick figures. By the time I was finishing school, I liked to see some breasts although I've never been a breast man. By the time I was finishing college, I likes more curves. Now, at 39, I like to see a woman who has a real figure, i.e., hips, breasts, some form on her rear. Not fat, but some shape.

The same can be said of sex. When I first started having sex at around 17 years, I wanted to be the only one she'd ever had. A couple years on and I wanted her to have experience so that she would know what to do with me. It was all about my pleasure in it. Now, grown up, married and in love, I want to know that she enjoys it as much as I do. To do that, she has to know her own body, know what she likes and be able to express it. In other words, she needs some experience.

I don't know how it is for other guys my age but the idea of a virgin is not attractive at all and hasn't been for a long time. I would like her to have the skills to please me and understand what I am saying. I would also like her to be able to appreciate the experience I bring.

I can't advocate young girls having sex. To each his or her own and no one should engage in sex until they're ready. However, I can understand a guy who is experienced not wanting someone who isn't, especially if the guy cares about the girl and wants her to enjoy engaging in sex as much he wants to enjoy being physical with her.

I guess it's growing up.

Had my first serious relationship at 17. And have had a series of long-term relationships since (4 years in college,followed by 3 years after college, followed by 1 year with the guy I finally "lost" it to.) I've always been very outgoing and popular. Also, I've always considered mmyself a very sexual and sensual person. I masturbated frequently, I knew what an orgasm was by the time I was 15. I've always viewed sex as a natural, positve experience...so why was I still a virgin at 25? Precisely because of my sense of my own strong sensuality and sexuality, and the "crazy, freakish" thought that sex should be thouroughly enjoyable (not tolerable).

Here's my question, how can someone be in a relationship with someone for FOUR years and not have sex? Sex is part of relationships, like talking is. I'm not saying jump into bed on the first date, but 4 years?!

But lets face it, vaginal intercourse, for the most part can be painful for the first time; so I kept putting it off.

I did not want to have sex in the backseat of a car with the pain of hymeneal perforation joined with watching out for a police officer/pesky neighbor/passerby who would catch me in the act, while simultanously having to ignore the calls on my cellphone from my parents (need I say: mood killer?), and having your joints in uncomfortable positions. I also didn't want to do it while waiting for the guys mom, roomate, etc.(and viceversa). I wanted to ENJOY sex since the first time and franly the location hadn't clicked with the desires. Either the setting was adquate but not the partner or the partner was adequate but not the settings. As pure and simple as that.When this two factors meshed I lost it.

So you were with the wrong guy for 4 years, and then 3 years, and then 1 year, or for all of 3 years after college, neither you nor the guy had your own room anywhere, so you were forced to consider the car or a dormroom for 2 or the parents' house?

I mean, i'm thoroughly confused.

At least have the decency to make up a fake name so you can be addressed as something other than "anonymous"

Normally I don't take the bait. But it's funny that Americans are accused of being pretty much too *everything* these days. Too obscene, too prudish, too boorish, too meek, too repressed, too much of a bad influence, too fat, too skinny, too meddlesome, too gunshy, etc.

If you believe that Nicole Richie, who looks as if she just was liberated from Auschwitz, is some sort of standard to which American women are held, you obviously know nothing about American culture. That girl is ridiculed and pitied on the cover of tabloids, and I would defy you to find a woman who says she wants to look like her or a man who wants his woman to look like her. And the last time I checked, European and South American models don't exactly look like Carnie Wilson.

I hope you get some sense of satisfaction, which you obviously need, by trying to rile up Americans by lumping them, the most diverse group of people on the planet, all together. Better luck next time.

LeCastor why do you and so many women just not get it.

A man can't pick someone up until AFTER he has developed the ability to put himself accross. Women WILL NOT respond to an awkward, uncomfortable approach, they just will not. A physically adequate woman can be awkward and men will still tolerate her, an equivalent man will not be sexually tolerated.

-- anon

Really, because if that's true, why do i see so many "odd-looking " or "awkward, uncomfortable" people hand in hand walking down the street? I live in NYC, there are lot those out and about.

I also lost my virginity in my mid-20's. I was 25 to be exact. But I also didn't feel identified with this article as "that kind of girl", my experiences were so much different. I'm very attractive, I've been dating since high-school. Had my first serious relationship at 17. And have had a series of long-term relationships since (4 years in college,followed by 3 years after college, followed by 1 year with the guy I finally "lost" it to.) I've always been very outgoing and popular. Also, I've always considered mmyself a very sexual and sensual person. I masturbated frequently, I knew what an orgasm was by the time I was 15. I've always viewed sex as a natural, positve experience...so why was I still a virgin at 25? Precisely because of my sense of my own strong sensuality and sexuality, and the "crazy, freakish" thought that sex should be thouroughly enjoyable (not tolerable).

Mind you, by virgin at 25 I mean that I'd never had vaginal intercourse (an another notable exception which isn't really my cup of tea, if you know what I mean).

Yep, I had oral sex with my previous relationships, manual stimulation too. A lot! I had orgasms, a lot! But lets face it, vaginal intercourse, for the most part can be painful for the first time; so I kept putting it off.

I did not want to have sex in the backseat of a car with the pain of hymeneal perforation joined with watching out for a police officer/pesky neighbor/passerby who would catch me in the act, while simultanously having to ignore the calls on my cellphone from my parents (need I say: mood killer?), and having your joints in uncomfortable positions. I also didn't want to do it while waiting for the guys mom, roomate, etc.(and viceversa). I wanted to ENJOY sex since the first time and franly the location hadn't clicked with the desires. Either the setting was adquate but not the partner or the partner was adequate but not the settings. As pure and simple as that.When this two factors meshed I lost it.

I actually ENJOYED my first time. How many people can say that? Yes it was akward at first, but I did tell the guy, in those heavy make-out talks, that if we where to get to intercourse, I was a virgin.

I had, I believe, an advantage from these women though, I'm Latino and the guy was Latino too. In a Latino culture virginity isn't demonized as much as it's being less canonized by the minute.

I was already in a relationship with this guy and sex was a great elemnt to the mix, but I didn't love him more or less because of it. We just had more fun, a LOT more fun.

People, be honest with your partners, here's why: Guys will give you the whole OMG vibe because they probably get performance anxiety when they hear "virgin". So, no girls, you're not the freaks, the guys who will dump their sexual hang-ups on you are.