Letters to the Editor
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be comfortable in your own skin
I dated a virgin (though I didn't know it until several months into our relationship, when he finally admitted it). It's silly to think that being a virgin at 30 automatically signals emotional and/or mental turmoil. Modern life can easily force to focus on other areas - work, school, family, health... Like any stereotype, it's easy to find people that fulfill it and who refute it.
I'm in my late twenties. While I'm not a virgin, there have been times when I have decided to not have sex for 6 months or a year so I can focus on something else - education, a second job, or just lacking the emotional energy for a relationship.
In the end, I never slept with my virgin boyfriend. He maintained his virginity as a way to keep distant, and given the emotional distance, I wouldn't have been willing to afford him the patience and guidance he would have needed. (That is, to my mind, his virginity was a manifestation of bigger issues, although to repeat, I don't think that's necessarily the case.) Depending on the sexual experiences of a virgin, it's possible, as with my old boyfriend, that there's a lot to be learned, and not everyone is willing to be a teacher. Find someone who is, who is wholly comfortable with their body and sexuality (and yours), who is not able to give more than receive (and not just sexually), and go at it.