Letters to the Editor
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LeCastor:
"But now that women are doing the same thing, it's open season for predicting the downfall of society"
Right. Because it was wrong when men did it. So we're supposed to applaud when women decide that's the way to go too? I thought the idea of (true) feminism was to make the world better - not worse?
Why has feminism produced "girls just wanna have fun" and Madonna's big cone titties instead of many other contributions that anyone can see are positive? Why the acsendancy of New Age jargon and alternative medicines that don't work but they're still devoted to - like that woman who wrote in to say water is her cure of choice?
Where's the actual thinking in all of this?
I'd think college educated women would want to be more circumspect of the culture they're creating if they are going to willfully change society to meet their needs - not just go for wholesale destruction in the way wayward men have. Why use them as an example, like two wrongs could ever make a right?
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Louis
I see that you're bitter, and I understand why you feel that way. It's natural when someone you love has hurt you. But perhaps you could step back for a minute and see how your personal tragedy is clouding your perception on this issue.
I'll try to explain why I was upset by the article: agree that usually putting work ahead of everything else is not a good idea. I would not want to be married to a workaholic or someone who is always stressed out and irritable from problems at work. I believe in a healthy work-life balance and I think that this balance should hold true for *both* genders. The problem with the article is that it only focused on women. Could you imagine an article warnng women not to marry working men? A house with one stay at home partner might be cleaner but why does the stay at home partner need to be the woman, ya dig? And why is a clean house more important than a fulfilling work life for both partners anyway?
And the article also holds women to bizzare standards of what makes a good wife-- like it's really my responsibility to *make* my husband go to the doctor and get that mole checked? As if he were a child? Like a man really can't do that himself? That's insulting to women and men because it implies that men aren't capable of taking care of themselves like adults.
Now some of the things you say, I really don't understand what they have to do with ths article or the reader response to it. Especially all the New Age stuff-- I don't really see what that has to do with working women or women making more money than men. A grand total of none of the professional women I know are into New Age spirituality or aromatherapy or yogis or whatever it is your wife was doing.
And the quip about the stupid girl in college who couldn't explain the Periodic Table to you, what exactly was that supposed to illustrate? That not all women are geniuses? Well, yeah, we all know that already. There are copious amounts of stupid people of both genders all over college campuses, what does this have to do with working women?
Also, I have heard plenty of complaints from men who are in "traditional" relationships, even here on this board, that their wives are much too focused on the children and don't pay enough attention to the health of the marriage. A man can feel just as neglected by a superSAHM with a perfect house than he can by an wife who works too much.
It seems to me that a marriage is damaged when either partner decides to focus their energy elsewhere to the exclusion of their primary relationship. Any man or woman can fall into that trap, regarless of whether or not they work outside the home.
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Hey
First let me say I appreciate the more thoughtful response. And on many of the issues you bring up, I agree totally. But could I imagine an article warning women not to marry working men? I've seen "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" enough to say yes. As a matter of fact, the rising divorce rate, I think, makes the point more clearly than anything else.
"And the article also holds women to bizarre standards of what makes a good wife-- like it's really my responsibility to *make* my husband go to the doctor and get that mole checked? As if he were a child?"
Bizarre? How many straight men have you been around? There are truths about us as genders - evolutionarily speaking - and this when the compassion part comes in:
Women look like total hypochondriacs to men. That mole may drive you crazy when the guy will be more likely to be looking for a pair of pliers. Showing you care shouldn't be contemptible or a reason to decide he's a child. He's a man. Why do women go all gah-gah for flowers? I haven't the foggiest notion but do I decide they're all brain-dead because of it? No. But being a guy - behaving and thinking like a guy - is a reason to reject, or resent us as a gender? Come on.
"Now some of the things you say, I really don't understand what they have to do with ths article or the reader response to it. Especially all the New Age stuff-- I don't really see what that has to do with working women or women making more money than men. A grand total of none of the professional women I know are into New Age spirituality or aromatherapy or yogis or whatever it is your wife was doing."
Writing fast - don't critique my spelling:
Like my wife was alone, at work or away from it, in her pursuit of this stuff. These were women and gays - all working people - who are into it. And it's EVERYWHERE. Self-help books, Fung Shwaied (sp?) office buildings, "Wellness Clinics" (where nobody's sick) everything must be "holistic" in it's approach (what does that word mean?) the move to expensive Organic Foods (though there's no proof there's anything wrong with our regular foods) Quackery like Homeopathy (at Whole Foods) is on TV (Head ON) and in every Health Food store (though it's just water) there's a damn "guru" for everything. Qigong training is even on PBS (bogus) are you seriously going to tell me you don't see the influence of New Age stuff on our society today? (Billionaire Oprah's spirituality - which is "especially for girls" - "Goddess" TV commercials, yoga classes, etc..) Many news reporters are merely PR flaks for it. Gretta Von Storensen (or whatever her name is) is a Scientologist - a member of the world's most dangerous cult AND a respected reporter - how does that happen? Katie Couric is now on CBS? Who's kidding who? All the women behind the brain-dead Vagina Monologues - Susan Sarandon, Morissa Torme (sp?) etc. are all rich, powerful women. (Should we exclude them because they're not lawyers?) Even the mania about global warming could be put in there. All bogus issues that, somehow, have moved to the front of the class. We are swamped in this crap and, somehow, there is no demand, by women, for any level of critical thinking. We're just going off the rails - over nothing - but you honestly don't know anyone playing a role?