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Over the past few years, my two closest friends (my partner and brother) and I have discussed this very subject. We've all been burned (as other LWs mentioned) by people we considered and treated as friends. Perhaps times have changed but--until recently--our standards haven't.
I, too, used to make friends through work and school. But generally I pretty much keep to myself. I am selective about sharing my life--that is sharing feelings. Sharing facts is not the same as sharing feelings, though few acquaintenances seem to get that. For example, I recently shared with some colleagues about having to put my beloved 17-year-old cat to sleep. However, with only a couple of colleagues, whom I consider friends, did I share how I felt about doing so and how I miss him, why he was so important in my life and to me. I've even not shared about the fact of his passing with other colleagues, even though it is significant in my life, because I simply don't care to. They don't "rate" a sharing, per se.
My partner has seen a close friendship with a couple (she is a godparent to their twins) fade into near-extinction. In part because she's in school as well as working. In part because their lives seem focused around the kids (they now have a third) and their lives. Perhaps we're all cocooning more these days. Our time seems more limited and rushed. Communication takes different forms these days too: My brother and I live about 2 hours apart and e-mail nearly every day, speak several times a week by phone. But we see each other in person maybe 4-8 times a year.
I don't consider myself lonely--and I'm certainly not bored--but I suppose I am a loner. Or maybe socially isolated by choice is a better term. I'm not much for small talk, dislike bars, etc. And after a long day, I'd rather go to the gym, ride, play with the cats (including the one who was "mentored" by the old guy and is missing him, too), read, etc. Perhaps too, because communication can be more intense when it does occur--bursts of e-mail, cell phone calls, etc.--I crave more quiet, down time.
