Letters to the Editor

Letters posted here are associated with the following article:
"Maddox," the Web programmer turned pop-culture hero whose book "The Alphabet of Manliness" recently leapt to the top of Amazon's sales list, talks about obedient wives, the craze for all things manly, and whether the next generation is going to be "totally puss-onified"
The letters thread is now closed.
  • Thanks, Salon

    And thank you, Rebecca Traister for letting Maddox "fall on his own sword" so to speak in this interview. No, I don't think he's the devil for writing this book, but as his interview shows he's obviously got some 'daddy' issues. The fact that he celebrates his father instead of reviling him for the ass-backwards upbringing he provided is very revealing. If he would do the opposite, he probably wouldn't need to write this book. If he truly reviles women and gays, his anger is directed at the wrong people.

    I'm a woman and a lesbian and I was actually gonna read this book because I love satire and I think it's important for people to be able to laugh at themselves. But I don't think that Maddox is sophisticated or intelligent enough to be able to pull that off. He was obviously totally unprepared for Traister's questions about the possible misogyny in his book and could not provide a believable response despite having several opportunities to expound on his answer.

    I used the think 'The Man Show' was awful but even their brand of 'look at the bouncing boobies' humor seems more innocent than the 'vaginas are a gaping maw of evil' humor of Maddox. Remains to be seen how people respond...... But why does a celebration of masculinity have to be derogatory towards women?

  • The target of the humor

    What Monk and other defenders of Maddox do not understand is that groups of people, however they are organized (e.g,., by gender or religion or nationality) are happy to indulge in self-deprecating humor, but they get defensive, and rightfully so, when someone outside their group indulges in humor at their expense. Members of groups understand that when they make fun of their own, it comes from a common understanding of that group's experience. Therefore, Jews can make fun of Jews, women of women, blacks of blacks, gays of gays, etc. If Maddox wants to make fun of his fellow men, I doubt anyone would object.

    What Maddox et al also overlook is that some things are not funny. It's rare that you'll find Jews making fun of the Holocaust, or women of rape, blacks of lynching, gays of gay bashing, vegetarians of slaughterhouses, and so on. When members of the groups do dare to make light of such topics, they tread very carefully. Nobody, though, wants an outsider making fun of their pain.

    If Maddox can understand that, he might grow up yet.

  • When simple-minded children get to publish books

    So slavery due to gender isn't as bad as slavery due to skin color, because the latter was institutionalized and therefore painful while the former was implicit and therefore okay?

    What a lot of uninformed blather to support perpetuating an outdated myth/a tired stereotype/black-and-white thinking. I don't think the argument "My daddy is so awesome" really holds up in true sociological studies.

    I understand the book is "a joke" but even taking this at face value, the guy is clearly overcompensating in this interview with his constant need to justify himself.

  • why I don't love misogynistic humor (yet)

    Eventually, I might find it pretty funny, but I don't yet. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, I must also admit that I'm not a big fan of bathroom humor or any other kind that prominently features farting. That doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor, just that my funny-bone wears a filter that's either a leftover from my upbringing or something inherently me. Nurture/nature... maybe both.

    But, as to reasons why I'm not (yet) crazy about woman-hating humor...

    I'm pretty tired of the whole daddy party vs mommy party name-calling game that the GOP--and their minions-- insist on playing, and of course, it's always the Democrats who are the mommies, and thus, weak and ineffectual, and the Republicans who are the daddies, i.e, strong and competent.

    I'm pretty tired of the worst thing that can ever be said about a man by his peers being almost invariably something horribly, disgustingly feminine, like throwing or running or cursing like a girl (not even a woman!).

    And I'm even more tired of women's private body parts being used so indiscriminately to describe something or someone considered disgusting and/or weak. So far, I haven't heard about any women's private body parts being used to commit crimes of war or rape, unlike men's. (Okay, so there are some women (tho' very few) who are pedophiles. I took Maddox's test, and got a better than average grade. But, ethnic cleansing still remains a male thing, as does rape of a non-consenting adult.)

    Ultimately, there's nothing like having your entire gender identity, or any of its many parts, be considered the ultimate insult or epithet...

    Imagine if Shakespeare or Swift or Twain, or Aristophanes (who more or less invented comedy as satire) or any other comedic or satirical genius had decided to write about the people in power making fun of those people with less or little power. Do you think their work would have survived and thrived for so many centuries? What do you suppose history will make of GWB's attempts at humor: "Please don't kill me!" "Some might call you the haves (have mores) but I call you my base!" --and joking about not being able to find those WMDs about which he lied in order to exert his power to wage war?

    So, I'm guessing that I'll finally be just about ready to appreciate some woman-bashing humor about the same time that women all over the world are wreaking the same havoc that power-abusing men are visiting upon the world right now, primarily upon women and children, the poor and the elderly. Once that happens, it will definitely be time to poke some good-natured (or worse) fun at women, sort of like Stephen Colbert did last month at the WH Correspondents dinner. Wait, now, that I think of it, most of those powerful people in that audience didn't want to talk about how funny he was... maybe I won't either. If I'm ever that powerful.

    Comedy, properly used-- and especially when it is most shocking-- is an antidote to abuses of power and/or ignorance. With so much abuse of power (and ignorance!) running rampant and amok in the world, Maddox decides that's okay to pick on women? Go figure... sure, to a child or a younger man, women might seem to have more power than they actually do, but a real man, i.e., a grownup, knows better, and also knows how to be magnanimous and to show restraint with those who are less powerful.

    [An aside: I also live with a man who works at a computer most of the day, but can also fix just about anything, and he's a vegetarian, too, unlike me. Go figure...]