Letters to the Editor
-
Let's be realistic about parenthood
When I was home long ago with two young boys and no money and a giant house to try to manage, I used to wonder what my neighbor Julia thought of me when she heard me yelling. So one day, over the back fence, I said "Julia, you must think I'm awful." And Julia (who had raised five kids through the great depression) said "I always say, 'you never know what happened before.'" I am astonished at the self-righteous perfection demanded by the letter writers to Anne Lamott's story about her teenager. I have a son who has known how to push my buttons for 50 years. Sons know how to do that. But I think if you asked him, he would tell you I have been a pretty good Mom. let's have a reality check here.
-
Be careful with your authoritarian rule!
If I were you, I would be careful with that "Families aren't democracies" shit. It's appropriate for little kids, but not for teenagers. I still don't know how to forgive my father for saying it. I'm 35, and he died almost 10 years ago. I think of the son of a bitch as the devil's daily breakfast--and I want everyone who knows me to know that.
"Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God."--Benjamin Franklin
Pardon my racial insensitivity, but teenagers are the new niggers. For more on this subject, I recommend The Teenage Liberation Handbook, by Grace Llewellyn.
-
my son the stranger
I just wanted to thank you, Anne, for this story. I've read it twice now and sent it to many friends with 17 year old boys. My husband and I were just saying last night that it would be nice to know someone whose son was like ours at 17 and is now past that stage, having moved on to a happier, more satisfying way of being in the world. I look forward to reading more about Sam, because i trust that with the kind of love, support, faithfulness and honesty about life that he has been raised with, as well as his own strong will, he has all the inner resources he needs to live just such a life. I keep praying that we find ways to forgive each other - to trust our love for our own son - to trust our experience of his return each time we think we'll never "find" him again - and to trust that he knows we are here for him - even as he is moving out, into his very own life. So Anne, how's it going these days? Thanks for writing your life. it is such good medicine!
-
Dear Anne Lamott, Its been a while. In the 5th grade you taught me writing techniques.
I am at Saint Marys college now. My first day of class we were all assigned to read "Shitty First Drafts" by Anne Lamott. Inside i was chuckling. I didn't feel like blurting out "I KNOW ANNE I KNOW HER!" because, you know, i am in college now, we need to be mature. instead i sat there reading your article. It dawned on me then that you, came into Ms. Grahmans fifth grade class and taught us an English lesson. I don't remember exactly what the lesson was but it was also the same day I got punished for calling a kid "Chicken Balls" ( ironic because chickens don't have balls....) anyways Anne, I just had to drop by and leave a comment. originally i wanted to email you but, I couldn't find your email.
And regarding your story, i loved it. It brought me right back to my little child hood. The story reminded me of my mother. She ran into a couple experiences of her own with my two older brothers as well. Luckily I was the youngest child so i simply watched, learned, and let it never happen to me. tee-hee.
Also, I read some of the reviews and was startled at some of the notes left behind. People who would write "You slapped your child" made me a little hot on the inside. You know? i mean 30 or so years ago teachers were slamming kids hands with a ruler to they bled. I think a parent is allowed a break here or there. I don't know. maybe i shouldest have said that. I just felt the need to drop by. I just felt grateful.... I had Anne Lamott come speak to me in the 5th grade. At the time it really didn't mean much to me. Like i said, after you left i called a kid chicken balls.