Letters to the Editor
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Fear Not
I think God made teenagers obnoxious so we wouldn't mind so much when they move away to college.
Never fear, Ms. Lamott, your sweet boy will come back around when he realizes he doesn't have to push you away to be free.
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zoom
I wonder if you ever heard of a little gem of an essay called "A Modest Proposal"? See, in that work, the writer says a bunch of stuff the writer does not mean. In fact he advoctates something very far from what the writer actually wants. It's an example of satire and irony, and if you are only willing to read what the words literally say, you will miss the message.
Similarly, if you only are willing to take "I could care less" at face value, you will miss the irony, and sarcasm, and the meaning. That's you're option. You're reducing the levels at which the English language can be used to communicate, and the ways in which the spoken or written word can be used creatively. But hey, it's your choice.
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Son Should be Ashamed of Himself
I'm not familiar with Lamott's previous writings, including what else she may have said about her son in the past. I only have this one article to go on. And based on what I read here, it's not Lamott who should be ashamed (as so many bloggers here are suggesting), but rather the son.
At 17 years old, this kid is old enough to know better. Any single parent like Lamott -- and particularly a woman -- already has enough on her plate without the kid consciously making it worse.
I'm a 30 year old guy, raised in Canada by a single mother. Growing up, I certainly had my own ideas about how I should conduct my social life, and those ideas didn't always mesh with what my mother wanted for me. So sure, it led to some arguments. But almost without exception, at the end of the day, I did what my mother wanted.
I obeyed my mother not out of fear, or because I lacked fire in my belly to go my own way. No ... I obeyed her because I had empathy. Empathy for how difficult it was for her as a single mother, and not wanting to do anything significant to pile on any more troubles.
I wish readers would stop making excuses for this kid. Yes, his impulses are normal. And were he in a more stable two-parent family, acting on some of those impulses would also be more normal, and acceptable. But in this situation, the kid needs to learn how to restrain himself. That's what a good person would do under the circumstances.
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On Single Parenthood
No Name Given, if children from single-parent families must not behave inconsiderately, then we're about to have a much more civil society. The last statistics I read have 40% of American children living in something other than the "traditional" two-parent family. You're right that the boy was behaving badly, but the fact that he lives in a single-parent family isn't the reason he should behave better. Nor is it justification for his admitted alcoholic mother to raise him in a face-slapping kind of home. My brother goes to AA meetings, and according to him, losing control like this is a bad sign towards relapsing into drinking. Sad situation all the way around.
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Respect
My mother believed slapping someone in the face was disrespectful even though god knows she whipped us, as I have described. I think my mother was right. Anne, I think you owe your son an apology, not for being angry with him (you're entitled to your feelings the same as he is) but for slapping him in the face. It's disrespectful, an unloving way to discipline a "child". Hopefully by this time you've already offered him the apology. He owes you one too, but you're the adult, right?, so you get to go first.
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chris, you're wrong
First, this is not from "zoom." Second, it is from a big fan of A Modest Proposal, a professional writer, and person who is sarcastic as hell.
You are giving people way too much credit by suggesting that "I could care less" has ironic or sarastic intent. The average English speaker--hell, even most way-above-average English speakers and writers--don't have that much imagination or flexibility in the way they communicate.
You are trying to perpetuate a fantasy, that when people say "I could care less" they are consciously thinking, "I couldn't care less, but I'm going to say that I could, because that is funny and complex." Give it up, dude. Maybe YOU say "I could care less" and mean it that way, but NO ONE ELSE DOES. The millions of other people who say or write "I could care less" do it out of ignorance. They do it because they think that it is an expression meaning "I don't care." It's not. "I couldn't care less" is the expression meaning "I don't care." The seemingly more common "I could care less" is a stupid shortening of the real phrase, initiated by people who did not think enough about what they were saying, and popularized to the point of ubiquity by others with the same failing.
Your tendency to overanalyze and overthink may be what's holding you back here from realizing the reality of the situation, but trust me on this: The vast majority of people who say "I could care less" are not clever, not sarcastic, not ironic. They're just wrong.
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I'm not zoom either, Chris...
...but I'm wondering what wit and sarcasm you intended when you wrote "That's you're option." I got "A Modest Proposal," but that one was a little over my head.
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Tragedy
First of all, Anne should congratulate herself on having a normal son who's having normal reactions to situations. Unfortunately, he has a very abnormal mother who pimps his every move by exposing how he's "scornful" and "sullen" to the entire Internet. He's at an age where this kind of power tripping from a mother can do real damage to his future relationships, especially with women. The physical slap is nothing compared with the public humiliation. We're watching a Mother castrate her Son.
Kids who are raised by single parents often go through this because the parent doesn't have a significant other to discuss this behavior with in private.
God Bless Us who were raised in these messes. And you whiny single parents can just go to hell. Put the kid's welfare before your own for once and shame on you.