Letters to the Editor
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Hells Fing Bells
If a bit of surliness made Lamont cry, I would have broke her Jesus-freaking back as a teen. I put holes in drywall, left the house for days when "grounded" and repeatedly told my parents what what. I'm not saying I was good, moral or right, but that's what I did. If my mother had been a Jesus Freak with embarrasing white people dredlocks (Anne, you are so not black, get a grip!) and a line of psuedo-hippie shit Marin-mile wide, I'd probably have suicided-out.
Salon, please try not to do the weekly "stupid author with feelings about things" corner. It's really pathetic.
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Sam's not liked by himself and probably not by his peers either
If Sam had a robust social club, they'd let him know how lucky he is to have a mom that allows such freedom. That he feels put upon suggests: a) he hates himself; and b) he doesn't have many close friends (even if he has people to "hang out with").
Perhaps you need to slap him with some reality. You've gone pretty easy on him. Let him know that he's lucky as hell; he can go his own way but don't look for handouts; and, finally, that he can be a jerk as long as he wants, but that's probably why he doesn't have any friends. Tell him that. Let him know that you know he's alone and there's a reason for it. It'll hurt, but it might wake him up. Guarantee it won't get him mad, at least not for more than the split second it takes him to break down.
It's more important that he can mix with others than get along with his mother, at this age. That's his problem. You could help and improve your relationship at the same time.
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Good Lord
Wow.
Mosts of these posts are why I usually don't read the "comments" on blogs or letters to the editor in the newspaper, because life is too short to walk around with elevated high blood pressure caused by the imaginary arguments you are having in your head with perfect strangers.
That said, my blood pressure is already up, so I might as well add my fool opinion to the pot like everyone else.
First of all -- have you SEEN Anne Lamott? She's not exactly an Amazon, so I can't imagine her instilling physical fear in her strapping teen son, who is NOT a trembling-lipped, helpless toddler, but a near-adult just shy of voting or running off to join the Navy.
I absolutely don't condone physical violence, and, unless I'm reading a different story than everyone else here, neither does Ms. Lamott. And she isn't talking about years of beating her sweet, little cherub. She's admitting to losing control during a heated argument, and smacking her son.
Secondly, have you BEEN around teenagers? I recall my own mother, one of the most saintly women imaginable, being driven to slap my face a time or two during my horrible, obnoxious teen years. Looking back at my actions, and what I said to that poor woman, I am grateful that she simply slapped me instead of using a closed fist, followed by a karate chop to my neck and a full body-slam.
My guess is that like me, Sam won't become a serial killer, and if he's grown up with an author mom (an openly Christian one, for those bemused to why she talks about the baby Jebus so much) WHO WRITES INTIMATELY ABOUT HER LIFE, he's most likely aware he appears in her work.
Criminy. Now I've got to go kick a few puppies until I feel better.
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Amen, Elaine
Voice of reason.
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To Elaine
Elaine, you write that you "absolutely don't condone violence", and then go on to do just that. As long is the abuser is smaller than abused. And only if it happens not too often. And only when Mom loses her temper. And only if the abused child doesn't grow up to be a serial killer. Give me a break. None of these excuses would be even considered for a moment were we discussing a man slapping a woman who wasn't being obedient enough for his tastes. Your hypocrisy is appalling.
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Thanks, Anne...
For laying my maternal anxieties to rest. Because no matter how badly I screw up my relationship with my own son, I'm pretty sure I'll never be as shitty a mother as you are.
Why didn't you just make him replace the busted tire with his own money? He's old enough for a job. If he's such a dangerous driver, why are you paying his insurance bills for him? You expect him to act responsibly, but you aren't bothering to try to teach him responsibility.
What an embarrassment you are! As if it weren't bad enough to slap the kid on the street and then drive screaming hysterically through the neighborhood where you both live, you write in a public forum that you hate your son and compare him to a terrorist. You're certainly putting his powers of "Christian forgiveness" to the test. Why not set an example by behaving like an adult? Instead, you act out, and he acts out. What a nasty little dysfunctional family.
I agree it would be a great idea for him to move out.
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God is not real
Among the many pathetic things about this article, Lamott herself and the people defending her actions is the whole Jesus/God angle.
Typical of a wealthy white American to think that a) there is a god and b) this alleged god not only listens to what she is saying but is willing to negotiate/make deals with her. If there is a god, or God as you religious nuts like to call it, would it really be so elitist as to respond to the tantrums of white women in America while black women in Darfur are being slaughtered and raped (not to mention all the other horrific things that are happening to people of all races, genders and nationalities around the globe)?
Religion is just a front for self-obsession.
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Elaine, Elaine, Elaine
You get a pass for hitting someone if you are petite or the person you hit is bigger than you?
God, Elaine, you are a real goob head.