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I sympathize with Mr. Smith and his partner’s dilemma. The decision of whether to bring a new life into the world is certainly momentous. However, as I read his article, I was struck how, after many years together, he and Piper were only now broaching topics that should have been discussed long ago. As Sara from NJ pointed out, it is not just whether to have a child, all of the other issues surrounding caring for a child also need to be discussed.
That is why I have come to realize that before couples get married or commit to life-long relationships they should have THE BIG CONVERSATIONS (e.g., children, where to live, career goals, money issues) up front so that they can avoid tragic differences of opinion, philosophy, life plans, etc. down the road. These are a difficult series of conversations for people on the cusp of long-term commitments to have and can result in couples a discovering potential deal breakers in their relationship. As a result, it is understandable that couples might be tempted to avoid such discussions and simply hope for the best, as Mr. Smith seems to have done. But in my view, it is only fair to one’s partner to broach these topics early, so that at the very least each side knows what they are getting into.
