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• Sunday, April 9, 2006 12:48 AM

  Don't Do It!

  Children should be wanted 100% by both parents or else it should not even be an issue. I should know. My mother did not want kids but she let my dad convince her. I had to hear that story all through my childhood. It made me feel awful because kids take this kind of thing personally.

  I think my dad realized he had made a mistake in convincing her to have kids and tried to make up for her actions but in reality when you know your own mother does not want you nothing can make it right.

  My mom took care of us but that's about it. There was no showing of love and affection because there wasn't any. She was a strict disclinarian who hit us on a regular basis. I could go on about the abuse but the point is it was all about the fact that she followed the "life script" of "you're a woman you have to reproduce."

  Oddly her attitude is something she and I bonded over when I became an adult. I told her I intended to never have children and she was very happy to see me stick to my decision. She actually began defending me against the rest of the family who put me down for refusing to reproduce.

  I have to laugh when people refer to me as selfish because of my child-free attitude. It's a lot easier to roll over and reproduce and have sociey accept you than it is to go against the grain and admit you don't want to bring a less-than-wanted child into the world. My mother and other woman who have kids whether to satisfy their husbands, families, or society in general are the most selfish people in the world.

  If Larry's fiance is not certain she wants kids she should not have them.

  —Amanda
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