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Read other letters about this article
It seems every time there is an article in Salon about having a baby, or even parenthood in general, there follows an avalanche of letters. Kudos to those who wrote thoughtful and non-judgmental letters. I happen to have kids, and I always try to tell the truth about them, especially to my child-free friends. I don’t believe in the pretense of perfection. Yes, parenthood surprisingly hard but also surprisingly rewarding. I hear climbing Mount Everest is hard but rewarding, too, but that does not mean it’s for everyone!
But there is a disturbing amount of…
“Non-Parents are selfish!” “Parents are selfish!” Wah!
Thinking you have the right or obligation to tell someone else how to live their life – now that’s selfish. Do you walk up to strangers in restaurants and tell them what food to order, too? Actually, the Pew Charitable Trust did a landmark study in 2004 that showed, unequivocally, that the percentage of selfishness in parents and non-parents is *exactly* equal.
Want kids? Have ‘em. Don’t want kids? Don’t have ‘em.
What is *actually* sad is when people aren’t allowed to live their own choices due to external forces like - infertility, financial problems, or (conversely) lack of access to birth control and reproductive choices.
That settled? OK, now let’s all go do something more productive than fighting :)
