This is the most pretentious, boring, meandering, silly non-story/non-essay I have read in a while.

I'm going to second that.

I liked it.

I could see how someone might call it boring - everything is boring to the wrong person, the person with nothing in common. But pretentious? Some of you people consider anything to be pretentious, as far as I can tell, unless it deals directly in the travails of dire poverty.

Ayelet, is that you?

Where does Salon find these losers? Yes, she's a loser, and a horrible parent--based on her own words. Or is this just another Ayalet Waldman pseudonym?

Based only on her own words she acknowledges the emotional needs of her own flesh and blood children and then pulls some Emily Dickinson bullshit out of her ass to justify meeting her own selfish needs instead.

Based on her own words she acknowledges the immature wisecracks of her "2 whole weeks" new flavor and how it infuriates her, yet instead of standing up for herself she turns the whole tattoo into some faux 'vision quest' to justify it.

Based on her own words she acknowledges the children feel the need to protect her. News flash: it's supposed to be the other way around, Mom.

Based on her own words she acknowledges she and the new boyfriend drink and drive.

The only positive line in the entire article: she knows enough to make sure the needle is sterile. At least that's what she typed. She invests an awful lot of time excusing her inability to make sense of time, as if that some kind of preternatural gift instead of just another way to say, "stupid."

Ann, you deserve a relationship. You also are a parent first. Invite your children into the process--not in a condescending "I'll pretend to actually consider your idea of a cartoon tattoo" way, but for the young adults they're trying (harder than you) to be. You can type all the bullshit stories you want, but to your children your actions will always speak louder than the words you type. (Giving birth to them ruined your body. Yeah, kids love hearing that. It makes them feel so special.) It's bad enough all their friends now have access to this story. Imagine what it's like for them to read this, for their friends and their parents to read this.

Look, if you want sympathy, act sympathetic, not pathetic.

Now go apologize to your children.

Could someone please explain to me why it's a good idea to get the same tattoo as a guy that you HOPE you won't break up with? I mean, look at what happened with Johnny Depp: "Noni Forever" had to change to "Wino Forever"!

If you're going to adorn your body for sacred reasons, do it in the company of someone who is meaningful to you, like a sister or best friend. That's how I did my piercing, and it meant so much to me in so many wonderful ways. It wasn't something to share with my flava of the month.

Oh... how maudlin.

I have four tattoos and I love them; I'm getting my fifth soon. People often ask me what I'll do if I start to regret them. I reply that I love them now, I don't see much reason why I'll ever stop loving them, and I'm not really the kind to regret my decisions when the only person they can hurt is me. But I do admit that yes of course it is possible that I may someday dislike them.

Here's where the conversation goes off the tracks. I usually then go on to say that it's not a big deal if I do because it's just my body. It's just my body! It's not me. It isn't the person who I am. It's merely my physical self, and since I don't judge myself based on other aspects of my physical self, I see no reason to start now. I mean, really, in the long run, what does it matter?

I think most people, when they see a quadropalegic or someone with muscular dystrophy or some other debillitating physical condition, recognize that the person they are considering is not defined by their body. Their physical form is not the total incarnation of who they are. I see it the same way with my tattoos. If there ever does come a time when I regret them, I know myself well enough to know that I won't get too caught up in my impermanent physical form. And I mean really, whats the big deal? If I get a scar, I don't freak out, either.

I think part of the tragedy of our times is our tendency to become obsessed with the symbolic, to find ourselves trapped in our own metaphorical system. Tattoos are only a big deal if you can't get away from the part of your mind that gives them greater meaning than they actually have.

40 and you got your first tattoo w/ some guy you barely know. Great! 'bout time you started living some. Go get some piercings, go see a concert of some band with this guy that you have never heard of, go on a trip with with someone you met in a bar the night before, take you kids to the symphony, use public transpo more, turn off the TV for one whole week and unplug the computer. . . .

If you continue with this pace you might die w/ only a handful of regrets.

Ewwww yuk, lady.

Your poor little kids. Hope they have the good judgment to get out of your pitiful life as soon as legally permissable. Thanks for sticking us with the cost of their upbringing.

Bet you and your new tats look just elegant... Bet your slime boyfriend is long gone.

SALON!!!

What are you thinking publishing this sad dreck? Slow news day?

Guh-lahhhhgh

What a strange little coterie we have here. Do you sourpusses lie in wait? Is bitching about first-person stories a nationally recognized sport or something? I'm reminded of a great line about people who go out to dinner looking forward to the possibility of being disappointed.

Or maybe Salon used to run a lot of socialistic, take-your-medicine, strident diatribes against middle-class women, and you're all waiting forlornly for the Che T-shirt brigade to come marching back, not realizing there's a whole big Internet out there ready to give you your oatmeal-colored jollies?

Salon, this is the kind of story I read and actually pay for. Intensely personal, thoughtful, erudite with a twist. Please keep doing what you're doing.