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Letters
Friday, March 10, 2006 12:00 AM

My Ambien lover

By day, my boyfriend acted cold and distant. But at night, after popping his pill, he transformed into the affectionate man of my dreams.
By Tessa Blake

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  • Friday, March 10, 2006 04:23 PM

    I Am A Weed-Smoking, Ambien-Popping Practitioner of Advanced Dildonics

    Ok? I admit it. Some of you might be wondering why I'm so enraged. Here's why:

    I drank a half-gallon Pissing Pepper Red Tequila and popped four Ambiens. Three weeks later I awoke in the African Veldt, encased in a cocoon made up entirely of dried elephant cum. But that's not what's got me so skeeved off.

    Do you have ANY idea how many elephant cocks I had to suck to produce that much cum???

    —Worse. Letter. Ever.

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