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• Wednesday, March 8, 2006 05:52 PM

  Brava

  More Dawn Friedman, please. Best article I've read on Salon in far too long a time. I’ve long thought that, put in the broadest (and not always applicable) terms, closed adoption assumes the worst of people and open adoption assumes the best. With something so important, I’d think starting from a position of assuming the best of people would be essential. As to a couple of other points:

  "I have never met a woman who regretted having a child, even if it was hard at the time."

  I have.

  "But I know many women who regret never having one, because they were so eager to avoid even the slightest inconvenience in their comfortable life plan."

  And these women can adopt from the multitude of adoptable children who are put up for adoption by the young women in unfortunate circumstances who made the wise and brave choice to allow their children the chance for a better life with more mature women of better means and opportunities.

  I don't see who's the loser in that scenario. However, I can see who stands to lose when children are raised by women who are too young, too immature, or suffer in situations of disadvantage. That not all children are damaged or ruined by being raised by such women does not make that the best option for everyone.

  The idea that sharing someone's genetic material necessarily or automatically makes them your family is both nonsensical and archaic. Biology or the law can make someone a relative, but only love can make a family. If you came from a loving family, then good for you. Why begrudge anyone else theirs?

  Congratulations and best wishes to all the loving members of Dawn's, Jessica's and Madison's families.

  —Dave
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