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Singles going steady
To avoid marrying a jerk, singles educators say you should stay out of bed on the first date and cross-examine your partner. Critics say their advice is hokum.
By Sarah Elizabeth Richards [2006-03-07]

  • I know people

    who were married for a decade or more and then got divorced and who told me "I never knew him/her."

    They had 10 years to cross examine their mates.....A while back I saw yet another such marriage expert on TV. Her claim was similar to this one: a woman should go into a date (no wonder I hated dating)with a list of questions and answers -just as if she were going into a job interview. I recall thinking: "Marriage is not a job. A job you quit the second a better offer comes up." My mother's advice was better. Be Yourself.

    I'm not sure, there exist statistics to prove just about anything, but I don't think hasty marriages do any worse than well-considered marriages. It is definitely a gut thing; so the trick is to be 'in a good space' when meeting anyone (esteem is the key as an earlier writer said). Then you will take care of yourself.

    I think marriage is a pressure cooker at times (life is) and how we handle life and our marriages when the pressure is on is key to it all. You never know anyone until you see them functioning under pressure and that usually won't happen before the marriage.

    -- dottygirl
    [Read dottygirl's other letters]
    Tuesday, March 7, 2006 09:16 AM
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