Letters to the Editor
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hoo boy.
"Example: my wife buys me clothing sometimes and I do the same for her. Now that I think of it, I bought clothing for her before we were married. It has nothing to do with abuse or control, it has to do with love and affection. "
Oh hon. Giving someone a gift that you would like them to have is not even remotely comparable to looking at what they already have on, informing them it is unacceptable, and having them remove it in favor of articles more to your taste, and imposing emotional consequences (withholding affection, name-calling, undermining confindence) if this is not done.
I think you're a pretty decent person who's having a lot of trouble seeing how the real depths of shittiness that non-decent people can sink too. I've seen enough abusive relationships in my life (not mine, thank God) to recongize the signs -- and Cosmic Mojo, who also commented, has actually WORKED in this arena. Your no-strings-attached gifts were love -- the described behavior is absolutley not love.