Letters to the Editor
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This approach ignores the two biggest relationship obstacles
Argh, yet another quickie prophylactic approach to self-improvement from our "spend $1000 on a seminar and change your life" culture. I won't even get into the absurdity of trying to remedy a lifetime of bad relationship judgment in a 10-day course, but these classes always ignore the two issues that are at the core of most troubled romantic lives:
1) People treat marriage as some sort of exalted state, where you somehow change after you say "I do" and everything is sunshine and roses, instead of seeing it for what it really is: a formal commitment that requires a lifetime of communication, honesty, adaptation and the discovery of new things to love about your spouse and your life, and...
2) The fact that until people value themselves highly enough to take care of their own needs first--until they are so comfortable in their own skin that they do not NEED anyone else, but are comfortable with WANTING someone else in their lives--they will never have a long-term relationship where someone is not dependent or feels trapped.
If these well-meaning people really wanted to improve marriages, they would teach their students how to love themselves, develop a sense of "enlightened selfishness," and take a hard, sometimes painful look at their reasons for wanting companionship. Only with honest self-awareness does a truly fulfilling relationship with another person become possible.