What a beautiful essay, about an interesting woman, thank you for writing it.

Pippi

My partner and I paid off our mortgage balance today. I am 53 and this is the first time we have had a paid mortgage and it feels great to be in this new environment.

This article raises some interesting points, but neglects one. Many of the McMansions are not just designed to give people space, but to even further erode family life. Large bedroom suites on the first floor are sold as "privacy for parents." Now, after the parents come home from work and the kids from daycare/school, they all go into their separate areas and interaction is little. There are huge basement/third floor recreation rooms complete with space for food, and bathrooms so the kids never have to surface, unlike the musty basement rec rooms of old. Coupled with the fact that many parents ignore the warnings not to put TV/computers in their children's rooms, this situation only leads to more isolation.

My children and I live in a small house, in a town full of new and old McMansions. Not so small that we're tripping over each other, but small enough that we live together. There are no children's suites and parent's suites. The boys share a room. We have to see each other. That's not to say I wouldn't live in a McMansion if I could afford to do so.

When you look at the context of how new housing is currently built, I find the idea that buying a house in the suburbs offers the owner a higher degree of control is somewhat laughable. After all, a large proportion of new residential developments are governed by homeowners' associations that can exercise near-totalitarian control over everything from the color of your house to where you may or may not put up a basketball hoop. I think the gist of it is that the HOAs give you more control over your neighbors but less control over your own dwelling. Personally, that's not a trade I would ever make but I guess it appeals to people more interested in property values than personal autonomy.

Another thing, comparing the urban life to the pastoral one, aren't the suburbs really the worst of both worlds? Most suburbs are really just a cartoon version of rural or small town life. Maybe if you're on a 5 acre lot in a low-density exurb you're getting close to the pastoral ideal but most suburbs aren't like that. After all, how pastoral can your life be when the main tools of your survival are your car, lawn mower and leaf blower. If you think your urban neighbor's rap music is annoying, try a leaf blower at 7am on Saturday morning, now that's annoying.