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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
Jeez Louise, you people !! One of the entire POINTS of READING and THINKING is to read about people who ARE NOT exactly LIKE ONESELF !! THe reason for this is to LEARN about the experiences of OTHERS, thereby broadening the mind. To the 23 year old and the Single man (AND THEIR ILK) I say: are you guys seriously ONLY interested in "gazing into the Mirror", only excited to read about people EXACTLY like YOURSELF?!?!?!? How unutterably BORING you must be! You get on the case of this woman because she is writing about an experience that you know nothing about; you should be thanking her, for crying out loud. The only WHINING I hear is YOUR WHINING, you self serving, self-0bsessed, tiny little dopes. Seriously. Quit worshipping your own navels.
The article annoyed me, but the nastiness in some of these letters flabbergasts me.
Not every article in the front section has to be about your life. Talk about whiny and narcissistic.
We all hate showoffs, and I really hate the idea that being good in bed is about mastering esoteric or difficult skills from sex manuals. I'd rather be with an enthusiastic fumbler than with some student of the Kama Sutra who always has to be better than everyone else. But the author seems aware of the hidden egocentrism of this approach to sexuality, if still not completely free of it. She was willing to be honest about this; maybe she deserves credit.
Also, don't hate the minivan. Minivans rule. The stereotyped suburban people in your head should be driving big SUVs. I hear the Chinese are fond of these little putt-putt minivans that get like 40 mpg. I want one! And I'm years away from having kids.
In what way did Ms. Williams receive sub-standard care?
Why is Ms. Williams'ignorance about standards of care and practice surprising?
If, as some writers to Salon report, it is common-knowledge among Ob-Gyns, and among women who have had children, that postpartum mothers sometimes experience lack of libido and/or dyspareunia (pain in the vagina or pelvis during sexual intercourse) it would seem very unusual that Ms. William's physician found no way of discussing these issues with her before or after the delivery or her first or second child.
But who is anyone kidding?
Obstetrics isn't some arcane field of medicine. The discipline's literature is vast and nowadays commonly available to all patients and physicians.
There really are such things as standards for care and practice. This isn't just Sparkyism. Any educated person with any reasonable familiarity with the way medicine is taught and practiced would notice a few very odd things about Ms. Williams' piece.
* Ms. Williams describes herself as a highly intelligent "Type A" personality driven to know in detail about the physical demands that human sexuality would require of a healthy adult female.
* Ms. Williams describes not one, but two, clinical situations in which she, postpartum, was told by her physician that she was physically ready to resume sexual activity, although this may or may not have been the case given the physiological outcome of her respective pregnancies.
The facts, as Ms. Williams has stated them, simply do not make good sense.
We are left with these obvious choices:
* Ms. Williams, given her education and intellectual capacity, for some reason we do not know, chose not to consult obstetric information commonly available to practically all pregnant mothers.
* Ms. Williams, for some reason we do not know, chose not to avail herself of the common-knowledge about postpartum sexual response and/or dysfunction that every woman who has had children knows as a matter of course.
* Ms. Williams' physician, although educated and trained in the care and treatment of women before, during, and after pregnancy, for some reason we do not know, chose to withhold from Ms. Williams any and all information regarding postpartum sexual function, although such information is commonly discussed in obstetrics literature and is commonly known by women who have had children.
I mean, y'all can continue your make-believe games as much as you want. But it's starting to sound a lot like "Intelligent Design." ("Science? What does Science have to do with anything?")
Like it or not, medical care is science. Some fields of medical science are of course more developed than others. But. I mean. Geez. Obstetrics is probably the one field of medicine that very consciously tries to make itself open and easily understood by the layperson.
I don't know *where* Ms. Williams is getting her medical care. I don't know *why* Ms. Williams chose to consult neither the medical literature, nor the anecdotal information, about postpartum sexual function and response that were very obviously available to her before she had either of her children.
I suggest that your experiment in "Letters" to the "Editor" has failed. It has degenerated into a name calling group of 6th graders arguing about whether Superman can beat up Batman. It was entertaining at first, but now, well, it's kind of pathetic.
Please go back to a traditional format of choosing letters that have something to say about the PIECE and discarding those who address other readers. As a member for many years, I thought that Salon readers were a little more sophisticated and respectful of other views. Given a platform and a common enemy, (first the author of the piece, then the supporters and/or detractors of it), we see nit-picking, name-calling, complaining, bitching, insulting, whining and general nastiness.
I, for one, am tired of picking through all this garbage to find someone with something insightful to say. It's depressing...really.
I enjoyed Ms. Williams short funny piece. It amused me, but not nearly as much as the letters from some bitter salon readers. It's supposed to be funny, not educational. It's basic comedy writing. The set-up - Ms. Williams was once a sex goddess - is necessary to have the joke about her post-baby sex life work. If she had set it up with boring details about her sexual misgivings and obstetrical advice, the piece would have been more along the style of Ms. Waldman and perhaps some other Salon contributors -self obsessed, whining, humorless and BORING.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Once seen as a lunatic fringe, reactionary anti-women groups are courting respectability
Salon headlines in your mailbox
