Forgot to mention, while I didn't think it was a "great" article, I did find it interesting - and not because I can identify precisely with the author's subject matter. I don't have children, and, at 47, I'm not too likely to ever have any. But, that doesn't mean I have no interest in parenting topics or other topics that are outside my own experience. In fact, learning about other perspectives is, in my opinion, the rationale and benefit of reading such articles in Salon. If I only cared about me,me,me,me, I wouldn't need to read at all; I'd just sit in front of a mirror all day and contemplate the miracle that I am ;-)

Salon publishes so much that I have time to read only a very few articles, so I appreciate the range and diversity of the subjects addressed on this site.

I also appreciate the new format that allows for the quick posting of any and all opinions, even the flaky ones such as from the whiners complaining about whiners. They tell a lot about human nature, and, like someone said, it's amusing to read them. I don't think those letter writers who are the source of our amusement realize just how ironic and funny they are - and that's what makes it so amusing!

I'm guessing the 20-somethings who are whining that they are sick of Salon's recent emphasis on parenting have no idea that Salon has had an emphasis on parenting since 1997, since they'd have been 14 at the time, and probably more interested in reading Teen Beat.

I started reading Salon in 2000 because I had just become a stepmother to two toddlers, and was desperate for something that affirmed that, well, mothers think. Much of our popular culture emphasizes the notion that the mother vanishes into her offspring once they are born, and I believe that at least some of the reason for the recent prevalence of the Child-Free movement (and their incredibly, insanely hostile attitude toward children in general, because of course they sprang to life fully grown like Athena from Zeus' brain) is the belief that if you are a woman, having a child destroys your self and your personhood and makes you into a cipher, the Mother. Obviously if you're a woman with a strong sense of self and you fear that motherhood will destroy it, you will be hostile toward the social attitude that you should have kids, because you'll see it as a social attitude that you should just cease to exist as a person. I *wanted* kids and I struggled with this. When I hear people whining about how they really don't want to read stories about how mothers act just like people (or, worse, that such stories are whiny and self-obsessed, because of course stories about twenty-somethings trying to Find Themselves in a confusing world or middle-aged men Coming To Terms With Mortality are great literature, it's just mothers that whine), I am reminded that most Americans (and, guessing from the recent article in Broadsheet re Germany, possibly many Europeans as well) don't want to believe that mothers are human. No wonder so many women don't want to have kids. Who wants to stop being human in the eyes of the rest of humanity?

Salon has never been solely about the news. You want nothing but lefty news, all the time, go read Alternet or something. Salon has always featured a mixture of political news, technology articles, book reviews that explore some aspect of politics or technology, movie reviews that are overly snooty and don't like anything that the average person might possibly enjoy, and articles about sex, gender and parenthood. This has been the mix since *I* started reading in 2000, and it's my understanding that it was the mix since Salon was founded. If you don't like it, go read something else, but stop complaining that Salon has changed. It hasn't.

This article has me cracking up cuz my libido was dead for 4 months or so after the birth of my twins. D and I eventually found our way back to fabulous f*&%king and all that fun....but it took a minute!

I know many mothers who have had this same problem. I have had friends who have went ahead and had intercourse because they thought they had to and were miserable. I used to think their partners must be really selfish but I realized it was more complicated than that.

It's like finding your way back to yourself and your partner. In the midst of the demands from the new little bundle of "joy". ;)

Like the author said at the end of the article you decide what's good for you and when....but it can be hard for a new mom not to be hard on herself....I guess it was my twins that kept me from dwelling on my dead sexuality (I was too tired to give a rats ass).

Happy Saturday Moms everywhere!

Frequently, personal narratives involving physical pain or emotional frustration are whiny and self-pitying. Even more so when they have to do with relationships between women and men. Williams' honesty never lapses into blame or inflated misery. In fact, her tale of life around giving life, as it happens, is funny, believable, and touching.

Jonathan Field

NYC

The topic of this piece was rather foreign to me (as I'm lesbian, have a severe physical disability/mobility impairments, and zero to no interest or ability when it comes to childbearing). Nevertheless, the underlying issue of the piece spoke deeply to me. This essay spoke to that point in life that everyone eventually encounters, where we realize that much of our previous ideas of who we were emanated from a place of low self-esteem, of desperately needing to meet high standards to win the approval/admiration of others because that's the only time we feel good about ourselves. This is especially true of highly intelligent Type A's, who often throw themselves (ourselves) into academics or the law or medicine or, in this case, mastery of sex, in order to "be the best," to get the positive feedback from external sources that they don't feel internally.

And then the day comes when that just doesn't work as a coping device anymore, for whatever reason. Some people, the less thoughtful among us, simply throw themselves into a new pursuit -- they change lanes, but they're still on the same road. But what the author did (and what I did, when my day came) was about healing, not sex: she became aware of the reasons she felt compelled to be the best, and she made a conscious decision to get off that path once and for all. The result is inspiring -- she has found her own voice and is no longer trying to meet standards that no longer suit her. She's learned to trust her intuition, to listen to her body, to speak her truth -- and I'd be willing to bet that this shift in the way of being in the world has affected much more than her sex life.

Some people resist such a difficult transition and prefer to live their lives with their heads in the sand; I'd guess that it's many of these that are posting such harsh criticism of this piece. Clearly it pushes people's buttons, which is what good writing should do. And I would submit that this piece is good not only because of its quirkiness and humor dealing with what seems to be a very painful and nearly universal topic, but also because it uses that experience to illuminate one that is truly universal: personal growth and acceptance, and the depth of character we achieve when we finally embrace our own power.