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Saturday, Nov 7, 2009
Whiny, neurotic... a couple of generations of self-absorbed Jennifer Anistons baffled at why their movie careers aren't taking off. A chuckle from well beyond the pale.
Having kids fundamentally changes things. A more fluid approach to what dear old Dr. Alex Comfort termed "loveplay" instead of the kabuki of pre-baby pole-in-hole sex would probably be pretty darn satisfying to both parties.
I remember I was a lot more interested in sleep than sex when the kids were really tiny and needed a lot of attention.
You've arrived at the new world. Burn your ships. Learn new dances.
Come back Ayelet Waldman, all is forgiven. You've been out-whined ...
Sorry, but this is not the Salon that I signed up for. Get back to publishing interesting writers, or this is one more Premium account that won't be renewing. No more of this self-indulgent, self-obsessed, over-entitled middle class crap. I can get this shit on Oprah.
Seriously, this is the worst article I have read in all my years as a salon reader. Yikes!
But from a mother's perspective, this is what life is like. As to Kim who says all who have kids are "assholes," who do you think is going to take care of you when you are drooling in a nursing home? Someone has to have kids, or perhaps you are hoping everything is automated by the time you need your Depends changed.
To you men, if this article were about your sex lives, would you be so nasty about it? Oh, I forgot, things about women don't count in this day and age--thought that was just in GW country, but apparently it's here too. Perhaps, the article should have just been published in Broadsheet and then you would not have even bothered to read it.
Lighten up. It's Friday night.
You people (letter-writers) have serious issues. 8( Really, go see a psychiatrist. This is ridiculous.
Granted, this isn't the most inspiring thing I've ever read on Salon, but it doesn't deserve all this criticism. For those of you who don't like it, well, wait until you have kids. This article is exaggerated, but there is some truth to it. Trust me, I know this stuff - I have a 14-year-old daughter and a 5 year-old son.
If you want to really lose your sex drive, try taking said 14-year-old in for her first Gyn exam. I did that earlier today, and it felt really strange, though I knew that it was necessary. But life is full of strange-but-necessary things, so one has to accept this stuff as it comes.
Some people rise to the occasion and grow up when life challenges them. Mary did this, and I for one find it inspiring. She's way ahead of the folks with kids who demand to have the rest of their life still wearing heels everywhere, or spending regular nights out with the guys. Parenthood does things to you that no other life experience can (and thus is most assuredly not the best thing for everyone), but it's most reassuring to read from someone who has made the transition in a sane and healthy way.
this is not about women, or about women's sex lives. This is about one utterly self-obsessed woman, who apparently think sex is a form of gymnastics, and about her banal response to a universal issue. Unfortunately this kind of naval-gazing seems to be the new thing on Salon. I say bring back Cintra Wilson ...
First of all, as a women who was petrified of losing my identity, and wrote a book about it called Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay: And Other things I had to learn as a new mom, I totally identify. I loved sex before my baby came along. With the baby came a world of anxiety and identity confusion which didn't exactly lead to the heights of sexual ecstasy. I found myself just trying to please my husband to 'do my part' rather than go about it for my own pleasure. I wrote about this in my book and hope that other women relate and I don't get the kind of bitchy letters that some readers are sending. This wasn't whiny, it was confessional. We need more of that!
I'm guessing that Ms. Williams, for some entirely interesting reason she doesn't choose to disclose, although she isn't otherwise afraid of disclosing much, assumes that her readers are idiots.
Any adult of at least normal intelligence who reads this piece would be struck by a number of remarkable questions.
Why does Ms. Williams persist in the care of a physician with whom she can't, by her own admission, speak comfortably and candidly?
Why does Ms. Williams persist in the care of a physican who, by her own admission, is spookily out-of-touch with female postpartum physiology and sexuality?
Why is Ms. Williams, who describes herself in a very public way as an overachieving "Type A" personality, spookily out-of-touch with reasonable standards for American medical care and practice?
While I personally don't mind vivid accounts of female sexuality written by intelligent and lusty women, this piece wasn't really such an account.
Although Ms. Williams couldn't quite bring herself to do it, this piece was really about sub-standard medical care and about Ms. Williams' lack of knowledge about medical care. A good editor -- one who really looked after Ms. Williams' best interests as a writer -- would have easily identified the core concerns of this piece and encouraged Ms. Williams to examine them in a more thoughtful and well-informed manner.
Why all the early hostility towards this piece? As a new father who shared many of the same experiences with my wife in our own post-baby sex life, Ms. Williams speaks the truth and it is comforting to know that we aren't alone. I would guess that most of the negative response is from folks who are like many of my friends without kids who now refer to us as "breeders" (always seems to be used with a hint of judgement - perhaps another topic the author could address in a future piece).
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The Maine fight was supposed to be the dress rehearsal for repealing California's Prop. 8 -- but gay marriage lost
Once one obtains Seriousness credentials in the Washington media, they are irrevocable no matter one's conduct.
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