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• Tuesday, January 31, 2006 05:27 PM

  I'm talking about YOU, not all men

  I'm not talking about all men or all women or all husbands or all wives. I'm not making a political statement. My observation is about YOU alone because YOU are the one complaining. I'm not saying love conquers all, but your lack of expression of love or affection or concern for your wife (and your child) is very striking. I feel sorry for her.

  If you're going to make such explicit complaints about your private life to the whole world, you have to expect some feedback. Do you want to solve your problem, or do you just want to complain and complain and complain?

  It does sound like your wife may be depressed, and your self-pitying attitude won't help much if that's the situation. Being the mother of a baby or toddler is very exhausting work that can leave a person emotionally drained. Without going into details, I can tell you that I have a very, very athletic background and, for me, the physical challenges of motherhood far eclipsed anything else I had experienced.

  If she is depressed, what could you do to help? For starters, read up on postpartum depression. Consider hiring a babysitter so that she can get some time to herself. Get a gym membership for her. Make a massage appointment for her. See to it that she has social opportunities so that she doesn't feel so isolated. Stop whining. Those are some constructive suggestions.

  —Anonymous
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