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Read other letters about this article
One reader wrote:
"Really, other Anonymous, what's more important, your children or your on-demand sexual satisfaction? Raising children requires some sacrifices. Most women -- and men -- get it. You, apparently, do not."
My point was not "some small sacrafices" or even some "minor" changes in sexual habit.
Child birth, in reality, often totally and radically transforms women into totally different people.
The way they dress changes (goodbye high heels and skirts, hello sweat pants!) and the way they feel about sex (from enjoying it to, basically, doing it once a month out of wifely obligation)
These aren't "small sacrafices" that should be glossed over -- which is exactly what some female readers want to do. Take radical transformation in dress, apperance, personality and sexual habits and just dismiss it all as "a few minor changes."
My observation was simply this: would such a radical transformation be as easily glossed over if the changes took place in a man? If I man totally changed his apperance (no more nice suits, only ripped t-shirts and sweats) and totally lost all interest in sex --- would women see a problem?
Whether they do or not doesn't matter. When one partner, male or female, radically changes their look, personality and sexual habits there are going to be MAJOR problems and confrontations in the relationship. They will be fights, affairs and divorces.
Since child birth obviously has a much much MUCH more profound effect on the women -- perhaps it would benefit us as a sociaty to have an honest conversation about what we should all expect (post child birth) and what we want and what we'll settle for.
Currently people go in blind and are blind-sided when these radical changes occur. Men in particular are often left scratching their heads wondering, "Where'd my wife go? Why am I suddenly living with this frumpy, sexless person?"
