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Monday, January 2, 2006 12:00 AM

Food slut

People say great food is like great sex. But after two years of reviewing trendy restaurants, chatting with charming chefs, and indulging in fatted duck breast, I've lost my appetite.

By Ann Bauer

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Sunday, January 1, 2006 05:45 PM

Let us all pity the poor food critic who had to deal with vapid conversation over hundred dollar dinners. Oh, Lord!

And she had such qualms about her work that she kept doing it until she got replaced by someone cheaper. Oh, mercy!

So she paced her three bedroom house -- bought with her novel's advance -- and felt so curiously lonely. Oh, angels of heaven!

No comfort, those tedious children, who lived on hamburger, popcorn, and oranges. Oh, fiends!

Then enter Salon, whose soul-starved readers hunger for such hand-wringing. Oh, plebs!

And finally our successfull writer can return to her savory meal. Oh, salvation!

—A Single Man Speaks Read A Single Man Speaks's other letters

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