Letters to the Editor

This letter is associated with the following article:
In a new book, sociologist E. Kay Trimberger says the "new single woman" is successful, social, smart -- and loving life on her own.
  • Singled out

    I love being single, although in my past there have been a few cohabitation relationships and a 5 year marriage. I always get my favorite chair and never have to wait for the bathroom. No one keeps me awake by snoring, having a light on, or hogging the covers. I never have to explain my actions or make regular sacrifices for someone else's needs, wants or feelings.

    I don't have to share the newspaper or compromise on what film to watch.

    My decor is not maimed by the inclusion of another's beloved yet lamentably unattractive crap.

    I date, but only for fun.

    Of course, my personality is probably a tad different from the norm. Having a solitary sort of bent (which naturally affected my past relationships) I do enjoy the company of others, but don't need it, or find it compelling - short of the person being routinely fascinating or challenging in some way. My passions and pastimes are unusual; best enjoyed and pursued solo - and I hate having my necessarily intense concentration interrupted for anything short of a major disaster.

    The point? If I had been more aware of the vagaries of my solitude-loving personality years ago, those doomed relationships wouldn't have happened...and I wouldn't have hurt those men with my self-ignorance.

    Living alone and not spending emotional and mental energy wanting or looking for love gives you an opportunity for real self discovery - which in turn makes it more likely that you will eventually find a love that you can happily live with.

    Perhaps someday I'll meet a man with complementary peculiarities - who knows? Like many good things in life, love comes out of nowhere - and almost always when you're not looking for it.