Feedback on this issue seems to fall into two camps...The Media Made Me Do It, and Put the Fork Down and Shut Up. I don't think it's that simple. I speak as a fat person. Not a two-airline-seats fat person, but a glad-my-ass-isn't-that-big fat person. Do I like being fat? Not particularly. Do I complain about it? Somtimes. Do I blame the media? In a roundabout way. Do I know it's my own stupid fault? Absolutely. Am I going to do anything about it? That remains to be seen.

My point is, food and weight and health and self-image issues are seldom a result of lack of knowledge or lack of reflection. There's something far more complicated at play. It's not a question of knowing what you want or knowing how to get there. It's a question of being able to actually follow through. And that's not easy for some of us.

I have overcome adversity in my life. I have acheived great things and accomplished some near-impossible feats. I am smart and have good relationships. I am responsible and accountable and self-supporting. But I'm fat despite my desire and ability to be otherwise. I wish I could explain it, and I wish I could get over it. Maybe someday I will, but it's not going to be because I tuned out the media or put down the fork. I may have to do both of those things, but I've done them before. That's not all there is to it.

There's something else there. I'll let you know if I find it.

I'm really tired of heavy women who eat out of greed or to self-medicate making snide remarks about naturally thin women. Some people's metabolisms are different. Get over it. If you want to feel better about your body, move it. Don't sit on your ass and eat popcorn, whining about how "culture" makes you feel bad. You should feel bad for your laziness, hatred of other women, and unoriginality.

Oh, for God's sake, stop being such a victim. If you eat a little more than usual, exercise a little more than usual. Take a walk around the block after dinner. It's not such a big deal. And having kids is not exactly an excuse for letting yourself go. My 70 year old mother looks terrific, not because she denies herself food or exercises excessively, but because she takes care of herself and doesn't get to the point that she has to deny herself or kill herself at the gym. I'm 40, and I'm as slender as she is for the same reason.

And another thing: it's just as obnoxious to make fun of people for being thin as for being fat. In fact, it's worse. A lot of people are as naturally thin as Calista Flockhart. My best friend, who eats everything in sight, is that thin, and was just a month after having her daughter. Conversely, no one is naturally obese. Fat people get fat because they eat too much. So, Ayelet, making fun of Paris Hilton and Calista Flockhart - way to set a good example for your kids.

The previous poster wrote:

"What am amazing culture we've created, where you can get screamed at in letters for trying to honestly say what's on your mind."

But it's Ayelet Waldman. Her whole raison d'etre at Salon -- and apparently, in life, to a large extent -- is to piss people off, exploit and embarrass her children for creative inspiration, and basically be slightly off her rocker, in order to generate controversy.

Salon commissions her --> She writes --> We take the bait --> Page views go up

Ohh boy, I can't wait for the Ayelet columns and controversies of 2006...

* Kabbalah for Kindergarteners: Spiritual Enlightenment, or Spiritual Spitup?

* Why My Dog Takes ADD Drugs: And the Cat's on Paxil

* My Hypomanic Morning at Walmart

* Playdates: The Lazy Woman's Way Out

* Why Good Mothers Never Make Chef-Boyardee

And so on, ad nauseum... emphasis on the NAUSEA...

I'm sensing a pattern here. Ayelet Waldman writes an article, she confesses bad thoughts/bad things that she's been doing, or feels that she's been doing, and then she receives angry letters from readers who seem to feel that she's insulted them personally. How dare she write about wishing that her son was gay! How dare she write about her eating disorder!

Maybe Salon needs to reformat the pieces or something, lead them off with "One Woman's Opinion" or some such disclaimer. Really, it seems like many of these letter writers are so angry about their chosen topic du jour, and are just looking for an excuse to explode into rightous indignation.

I mean, I re-read the article to see if I missed anything. It seems like Ms. Waldman was writing about how she has an eating disorder, and how she's upset with herself for having an eating disorder. How dare she!

What am amazing culture we've created, where you can get screamed at in letters for trying to honestly say what's on your mind.

I always feel like I need a nap after reading an Ayelet Waldman piece. So much hand-wringing drama, yet so little food for thought. Ayelet, relax. Have a yam and chill out.

I'm old enough now to realize that when people make fun of skinny women, it's usually because of jealousy, but I was 17 before I was able to start accepting that. Until then, I avoided all situations where I might have to show my ankles. So as a child growing up in the southwest, swim parties and sandals were both unavailable to me. If fat is a feminist issue, stop hating on the women who cannot gain any to save their lives. And don't count it as an "empowering" activity for you and your children to engage in.

It’s the obsession with herself that I find so offensive.

We come in many shapes and sizes, and heart health is more important than thinness, but I am sick of these women who think they and their weight, their looks, what the world thinks of them, them , them ,them, are the most important thing in the world. I exercise zero tolerance for arrogance and it has nothing to do with weight or beauty or gender.

It has to do with what a selfish nation we are and what kind of world this change is giving us