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Ms. Traister is right to be frightened and disappointed by Magazines like Total 180! and the women who claim only the value added to life is with children. The magazine, which I've seen, and the women involved display an alarming ignorance that makes me doubt they are doing their kids any favors.
Have any of the women producing this magazine taken a history course? To turn to the 1950's! Is it the clothing that appeals? The laugh track of Leave It To Beaver? The House Unamerican Activities Committee?
The good old, idealized 1950's, when blacks had their own water fountains, when married couples on TV had to have twin beds, when women weren't allowed to have their own credit or own property, when birth control was illegal, when women were routinely and legally paid less for the same work as men and, oh yes, rape was a misdemeanor and a wife legally could not be raped by her husband, even if they had separated or were divorced as long as she wasn't the property of another husband. It wasn't women staying at home that changed these things; it wasn't their kids; it was the women themselves.
Childbearing is not a miracle. Child rearing is a time consuming task when the kids are little, but come on, at some point they do take care of themselves. After all, that is the goal of parenthood.
It is a convenient myth that children are better served by stay-at-home moms. Human beings evolved within a mutually supportive community of shared childcare and eldercare which encouraged exploration and challenged the young to learn for themselves, not the undivided attention of a single parent. I cannot help but suspect that the definition of motherhood is linked to identity as a mom, a role which comes complete with status, security and big power in a very small, self-defined world.
Women who crave children often make a deal with the devil, dismissing adult relationships in favor of focusing on their children. Thereby teaching those children, especially the boys, that they are the center of the universe, that women live to serve, that women live to make things for others, not to make something for or of themselves. Creating a life for others is never as interesting or as challenging as creating a life for yourself.
Feminism is about placing work in a political context. Women who stay at home work, but as long as that work is considered an exception to the work force rather than a condition of it, the choices around parenthood are limited ones. Feminism is an examination of how power is related to gender. Power is still related to gender, men have it, women don't because men make more money - more money for their time and more money overall - and money moves civilization. Men are also making the decisions that affect women's lives because men are in the position at work and in politics to do so.
How many women will evaluate the constitutionality of abortion laws? One. How much power will she have? None.
As for humor, these women need to read more. Jean Kerr wrote about domestic matters within a social context. She realized the limitations of parenthood when she found herself unable to have an adult conversation when out with associates of her husband, theater critic Walter Kerr. Jane Austen wrote only about domestic life because it was what she was allowed to write about. That she did it with a sense of sarcasm and irony, tinged with anger and wit is what makes her a great writer. Austen is read by high school girls, not high school boys.
