While I'm all for public displays of emotion, Ms. Berry seeks to neatly sidestep one side-effect of women crying in the workplace: sometimes it can be used to manipulate the actions of those around them.

I've seen both women and men cry at work for very good reasons: loss of a loved one, exhaustion, severe stress and unhappiness, and being fired.

But I have also seen tears used as a way of winning a point in an informal business meeting. I have also seen an incompetent manager burst into tears when confronted by patient employees who sought to meet with her about their concerns. As a result of her emotional scene, she ended up working at her job much longer than she had demonstrated ability, much to the general misery of everyone else in the office.

The fact is, as a man I hate seeing women cry if I think that I've caused it. I think that most men share this quality. And some women make use of this to win points in the workplace, eliciting shame from men and an automatic, even if undeserved, sympathy from other women.

So yes, open up and cry where and when you want. Chances are, I'll be sympathetic and do what I can to comfort you. But not if it's just a grown-up version of the frustration you felt as a child when you couldn't get your own way.

I work with a group of men -- none of whom are married, (I believe being married has a 'humanizing' effect on males), in a fast-paced, high-stress business, trading stocks.. I'm a wonan, and the only black person there. I get along great with everyone, there is no racism, and no divide --these men are equally scornful of anyone they percieve to be weak; their favorite word is "putz", and anything else they feel necessary to the occasion. I am not weak. Ergo, I get respect. I'd like to see the effect it would have if I were to cry whenever it suited me. It's all well and good for a writer to advise women to cry when they see fit -- that is my dream profession by the way -- however, that is an indulgence which should suit the time and place, and in many instances, it does not.

Crying, like any other expression of emotion, is not a simple thing to categorize. People can and will cry for sadness, fear, joy, anger, etc. That is precisely what renders it at best neutral as a means of communication.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with crying as a means of emotional release, but it begs the question, now what? If crying inspires or motivates the person to accomplish, communicate and even relax, then it's emotion well spent. If it merely serves as a tool to intimidate or manipulate it becomes no better than a calculated tantrum.

People who have problem with seeing tears on a friend or coworker need to develop the patience to wait for the aftermath and rejoin the person at this juncture, without needing to feel disgust, fear, or even sympathy as a response the the tears.

People are perfectly free to cry at work.

They're also free to exhibit other inappropriate, distracting, and unproductive behaviors, like: dressing inappropriately, showing up late, throwing temper tantrums, being passive-aggressive, communicating ineffectively, etc.

But none of these are reputation-enhancing or career-enhancing behaviors.

In most workplaces, full-out crying is seen as the typical female nuclear weapon -- just like screaming in fury is seen as the typical male nuclear weapon.

Out-of-control emotional behaviors are the ultimate powerplay, the ultimate trump. These kinds of outbursts make many people very uncomfortable and tend to kill any productive discussion.

In most jobs, people are expected to demonstrate that they can control their emotional outbursts.

I don't go to work for the privilege of witnessing my coworkers' emotional theatrics. And I don't expect them to be an unwilling witness to mine.

(PS: I'm a woman in an executive level job.)

Ms. Berry is right that crying is a cathartic and healthy release of emotion. The "boys don't cry" mentality that is drilled into us can be emotionally crippling for men. However, anyone, male or female, must consider if open tears are appropriate in a given surrounding. At home, with friends or even on the bus, let it out. In a personal or national tragedy, it's appropriate to weep anywhere. Everyone in my office wept as the World Trade Center was burning. The day an old friend died, I wept in my office.

There are valid reasons for being overcome with emotion, but if normal working conditions, i.e. your boss yelling at you about a project, send you into convulsive tears, it's going to hurt your career. If a woman (or man) tears up over a memo, the boss is unlikely to promote her to a position of more pressure. It doesn't boost a client's confidence in your operation to have their contact break down in tough meetings. Some men assume that all women are too delicate and emotional to handle high pressure, and this is a major reason for the "glass ceiling." Women who feel "liberated" enough to weep in the workplace only reenforce this stereotype.

As Ms. Berry admits in her article, tears put the other person on the defensive. Because of that, it seems like the weeper is trying to gain ground by making you pity them. Nobody likes being emotionally manipulated except for Steven Spielberg fans.

Cecelie makes a good point that men's tears are much more powerful in the media (or in life.) Perhaps, it's because they are more rare. A man who is brought to tears in spite of his social conditioning, must be deeply moved.

Women should count their blessings in the weeping arena, though. I've never known a man to get out of a speeding ticket by crying, but it's a common tactic for women.

Ms. Berry writes: "Public tears feel liberating, an act of defiance against those who would subdue me with decorum and logic."

As a shameless defense of self-indulgence, emotional manipulation, and just plain rudeness, this essay convinced me that what we need more than anything in our society right now is a lot more decorum and logic.