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Tuesday, October 18, 2005 12:00 AM

Cheers for tears

Why women should feel free to cry in the workplace -- and anywhere else they damn well please.

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  • Tuesday, October 18, 2005 01:56 AM

    It

    While I'm all for public displays of emotion, Ms. Berry seeks to neatly sidestep one side-effect of women crying in the workplace: sometimes it can be used to manipulate the actions of those around them.

    I've seen both women and men cry at work for very good reasons: loss of a loved one, exhaustion, severe stress and unhappiness, and being fired.

    But I have also seen tears used as a way of winning a point in an informal business meeting. I have also seen an incompetent manager burst into tears when confronted by patient employees who sought to meet with her about their concerns. As a result of her emotional scene, she ended up working at her job much longer than she had demonstrated ability, much to the general misery of everyone else in the office.

    The fact is, as a man I hate seeing women cry if I think that I've caused it. I think that most men share this quality. And some women make use of this to win points in the workplace, eliciting shame from men and an automatic, even if undeserved, sympathy from other women.

    So yes, open up and cry where and when you want. Chances are, I'll be sympathetic and do what I can to comfort you. But not if it's just a grown-up version of the frustration you felt as a child when you couldn't get your own way.

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