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Some naysayers may point out a possible flaw in my "Fucking for Jesus" plan: that by having premarital sex (or by committing adultery, if they're married), the sex-evangelists would presumably be damned for all eternity. Thus Jesus would lose a soul in gaining a soul - with no net profit for Jesus. This overlooks two key points.
First, the souls that would be lost would only be those of women, while the souls that would be gained would be those of men. While it may not be "hip" or "cool" to say so in these permissive times, it's fairly clear that a man's soul is worth more than a woman's.
Second, don't forget that the sex-evangelists are reusable! They can screw hundreds of drunken males for Christ over a single Spring Break, and can come back in future years (as long as they remain reasonably attractive, a fairly low standard considering the inebriated state of their clients) to claim more souls.
Trading one female soul for hundreds or thousands of male souls is pretty much a no-brainer, don't you think? As our revered former Vice-President might say.
On the other side, what about the female-specific "shoes for your soul" plan? Shoes aren't as reusable as fallen Christian vaginas, you might argue. Good point. But once you've traded a nice new pair of fashionable shoes to a drunken co-ed in exchange for her soul, she's a Christian - and can be expected to tithe. With luck there's a good chance you could get her to contribute the very shoes you gave her, possibly while they're still in the box. Heck, you could recruit her to the "Fucking for Jesus" program! In which case, as a filthy fallen woman she could hardly expect to be allowed to keep the shoes.
Although during the male-focused portion of the program, she might be allowed to wear the shoes to gild the lily, so to speak. Since she'd spend most of her time on her back, wear and tear on the shoes would be minimal. The only danger would be that a drunken male "client" might vomit on them. The manager of the program would be wise to Scotch-Guard the shoes (particularly suede ones) and pray for their safety.
Some co-eds might insist on trying on those shoes, and there will probably be some who will backslide and keep them. So the cost of claiming female souls for Jesus will inevitably be higher than the cost of male souls. Cost-conscious evangelists may want to concentrate on male souls at first.
