You've had 50 years to figure out to be happy and you blew it.

The planet's resources aren't infinite - if you don't have what it takes to be happy in this life, then stop fucking whining and make room for somebody else, you miserable, self-pitying asshole.

Nobody fucking cares about your whining.

You are hurting because of the loss of your dog and, Clinton-style, I feel your pain. I believe this is the biggest hurt you are feeling now and the pain is so strong it's hard to deal with only that aspect of your life. Surely, "just" the loss of your dog wouldn't hurt like this.

Yes. It will and does and it speaks to the kindness of your soul that an animal loved you like no human does. Humans love but the love and companionship of an animal transcends human love when we cross over to the animals. Grieve all you want. Write the story of the life of the dog. Have pictures enlarged and framed and put them in a high quality album. Celebrate the life your dog graciously shared with you.

Somewhere along the line, another animal will pick YOU out and love you also. That animal will be the second spirit of your dog, so do not ignore it when it happens.

For SIX YEARS, after my horse died very unexpectedly, I cried every single minute of the day and night when I wasn't at work or when sleeping. Finally, when I realized that my eyes weren't supposed to be all red and stuck together, I got another horse and began to live again but not locked into the sadness of my loss. Please don't give up on yourself. Somewhere, another special animal is waiting for you.

I am now in my 50s (though everyone says I look 10-15 younger) so I definitely know how you feel! Let me give you some highly practical (but somewhat contradictory and perhaps impolitic) advice.

1. Do what Cary says!

2. Buy almost any book by Dan Millman, or even better his 'Peaceful Warrior' audio series. Buy them today!

3. The Contradictory But Quick and Practical Advice.

The above advice is spiritual and New Age. The following is quick.

A Very Close friend of mine went through a midlife crisis around 42. He felt older, weaker, fatter, and less attractive. He felt that life was passing (maybe had already passed) him by. Then, he got a 22 year old girlfriend! The results: He started working out again. He started to care about his appearance again. He became interested in social trends and music so he could talk to his younger girlfriend. And, last, but not least, he felt a powerful reawakening of sexual desire and power.

The relationship didn't last long, but it jolted him out of his midlife doldrums for good. I don't know either your value systems or the social mores of the country/community in which you live, but I assure you that this approach is powerful and effective (though not, of course, without myriad risks)!

I will probably have to lay low for awhile after this posting but best of luck to you!

Elric O M

[You might also want to try self suggestion techniques. They are perfectly safe because you are giving suggestions to yourself (In fact you are already doing it, just that yours are negative!) and can be easily be learned via the Internet on self-hynosis sites).

Too bad you aren't a woman. I actually enjoyed my 50s and 60s--free of the bonds of motherhood, I could progress in my career. I got rid of my boring first husband and married someone for love and sex, not for how well he could support a family. Now in my 70s I am enjoying my grandchildren and being able to travel whenever I wish. Sure, I am closer to the end of life than I used to be, but the really bad times haven't started yet. I hope I am able to accept them with equanimity when they do. I would not go back to the insecurity of my 20s and 30s for anything! If I could pick an age to be forever, it would be 52--menopause over, still agile and active, that was a great year!

and LW is honest enough to say it, instead of serving up boring platitudes about the "insecurity" of your 20s or the "wisdom" of age.

Aging is a disease, atoms don't have an age, so why should we?

Give to SENS and help defeat aging!

Younger is better than older. Youth is power, beauty, intelligence, hope, fire, passion. Aging is decay, decrepitude, slowing down, dumbing down, numbing down. Don't accept it!

i herd it on npr

(1) You can either work towards enjoying whatever time you have left, whether that means getting another dog, another wife, whatever.

(2) You can make a plan and check out early.

(3) You can do (1) for a while to see if things improve, keeping (2) on the back burner for if and when you feel enough is enough.

(4) You can keep whining, do nothing, and be miserable for whatever time you have left.

Really, those are the choices we all have. I'll turn 50 next summer and I'm not thrilled about it, believe me. There has been whining and there will be a lot more. On the other hand I'm not as purty as I was at 22, but I'm nowhere near as neurotic and stupid, so maybe it kind of balances out.

Anyway, pick one, and best of luck to you.

Apparently her only role in your life is as a life support system for a vagina. And then you have the gall to complain that she's not making you sexually happy? Please. If you were my husband and spoke of me like that, you'd be getting nothing at all. Has it never occurred to you that YOU are responsible for at least half of your own marital satisfaction? Perhaps if you began thinking of and treating your wife as a human being, not a sperm receptacle on legs, you'd notice a difference.

I'm sorry about your dog and your impending bad health, but get a grip. As someone over 50, I can tell you that it's a waste of time to dread debility that hasn't happened yet. When you are 60 - if you make it that far - you will regret every minute you spent dreading not being able to do what you enjoy when you could still have been doing those things instead. Do what you can while you can still do it. There will be plenty of time later to think about what you can no longer do. It will still be a waste of time.

Old age is not for sissies. However, 50 is not old. At 50 (and beyond), people can go back to school, fall in love, have a better sex life than ever, go places, do things, and just generally participate in life. This grief will pass. Take a lesson from your dear departed doggie - did she spend the final years of her life in dread and regret? More important, would she want you to?