Learn the art of using your opponent's own energy against himself... instead of simply the effective attack.

My brother is an Akido black belt. I doubt that he even knows how to hit somebody, but I very much doubt that anybody could lay a hand on him, and if they did so they would quickly find themselves on the ground or stumbling off in a direction they never thought of.

It's amazingly physical and yet peaceful too.

aren't martial arts ultimately about learning how not to get in fights. emphasis on "learning". so perhaps this time you dealt with a situation in a way that you aren't proud of. but you were just defending yourself, that's okay. and if there is a next time you can maneuver out of a fight situation. because you are "learning". you could always talk to the guy about it too. but perhaps that gets touchy legally, dunno. it seems like a humane thing to do.

Now, I am a human rights activist, I have been at demonstrations, I have been arrested, and roughed up, and none of these things have I ever been violent.

(Full disclosure, I have also worked as a bouncer, where my job was to exert a minimal amount of violence to protect the vulnurable. Often women, for that matter, as if it matters which it doesn't.)

However.

This is insane:

Consider what the shove actually says. What the shove says is, I love you and I want to feel the violence of my love for you by having some contact. The shove says, I want some pain inflicted, will you please engage in some mutual infliction of pain? I need some pain. The shoving says, here, look at what I am willing to do: I am offering myself to you, to be beaten. Will you please attack me so I feel whole again? Here, look, I will shove you again. That is my request. The shove says, "I want you. I want you to beat me."

What exact planet is it you are from? Have you actually ever been in a fight outside a bar with some insane bully? You think passive resistance is going to be an effective tactic with some 300 lb drunk/stoned biker with severe self-esteem issues? That he is going to be careful not to permanently damage or even kill you while he beats you to a pulp?

Are you fucking insane?

For normal, non-bully, non-insane people, fights are awful and they suck and they always make you feel terrible afterwards, win or lose, or as is more common, end in kind of a stand-off. But I do believe one has a right to protect one's bodily integrity. And often the best way to do that involves actual physical aggression.

Or should the passengers just sit quietly in the plane and admire the love the hijackers have for them? Should the woman being raped lie back and enjoy the love the rapist has for them?

Goddamn

The story is, like, ripped clear out of the pages of a comic book, an adolescent fantasy. Even if the LW is real, the story couldn't have happened the way he says it did....

I respect that you feel bad about what you did. I also think you should know that because you stood your ground, Matt is less likely to beat up someone weaker in the future.

Hey Not Jason Bourne,

I can relate to what you're going through. You weren't looking for that fight, but it came looking for you. Even though you were legally and ethically in the right, it doesn't mean that you wanted to do it or that you enjoyed it.

The martial arts need more people like you.

Your story illustrates exactly why I don't drink anymore. It's not because I'm such a health nut or any religious reasons. It's simply because alcohol makes people belligerent and more likely to resort to violence. Gichin Funakoshi, the man credited with bringing Karate to the Japanese mainland, also refused to drink for that very reason.

If you give up anything, give up drinking, not martial arts. Find social events where drinking is not the primary source of entertainment. You might even want to find a new circle of friends of they are the type to drink often to excess.

And on another subject, I have to comment on AfterThat's remark about Aikido. Despite all the talk about philosophy and peacefulness in Aikido, it is not a gentle martial art. Statistically speaking, it has one of the highest injury rates of all the martial arts. Aikido founder Morihei Uyeshiba's dojo was nicknamed the "Hell Dojo" according to Aikidoka and Buddhist priest, John Stevens Sensei.

Even if an Aikidoka doesn't know how to strike, the fact remains that an Aikido-style throw or takedown on an untrained person outside the padded confines of the dojo can easily result in a broken neck or back.

Because of the years I worked as a bouncer, I have been in a fair number of fights (all unfair, bouncers never heard of Marquis of Queensbury), and I have witnessed a huge number. Decent people, win, lose or draw, always feel bad after a fight. If it was one forced on you, you still feel pissed at yourself, pissed at your opponent, and especially, pissed at the crowd that always gathers at such things to push them along. (If it is any comfort, the crowd members can often feel like crap about it too, in retrospect.)

Assholes and sociopaths enjoy them, or at least, don't feel anything about them.

The sad fact is that most of us who are in or who have spent any significant amounts of time in real-life working class situations, are going to get into a fight at some time or another. Being in a fight sucks; but generally, losing one sucks a lot more than winning one, or at least coming out of one un-damaged (which was always my basic goal).

Most people actually know this. As a bouncer, I was always struck by the amount gratitude I could see in the eyes of the combatants when we showed up and they could retreat with honor; it was almost as great as the amount of gratitude in our eyes when the cops showed up to settle everything down and we could retreat without further mayhem.