It could be that the upstairs neighbor is unreasonably noisy ... or it could be that the LW is too sensitive. We aren't there, so we can't tell.

Many years ago, I visited a friend who had a lovely apartment in Chicago. It had one big drawback, she told me; the upstairs neighbors were incredibly noisy. So, we're talking and she interrupts me: "Do you hear that? There they go again!"

I could hear a faint scratching above me. I wouldn't even have noticed it if she hadn't called my attention to it.

It could be that they *were* too noisy at times, that she had grown sensitive, and now everything set her off. Dunno. From what I heard then, I could only conclude that she was being unreasonable.

Somebody as sensitive to noise as you should not rent a downstairs apartment. These are tough times. My husband and I went from owning our own home to having to rent again; we also have two children, and let me tell you, it is not fun to raise kids in an apartment. Have some compassion and common decency and know that the world (or building) doesn't revolve around you. Don't like noise? Don't rent a downstairs apartment, genius. Talk to the apartment manager like a man (or woman) and stop whining. There are worse things to happen than a little noise.

First off, the guy lived below an illegal daycare. Not cool, and not safe for the kids. New apartment, and now he's hearing crashes in the middle of the night. And it's somehow . . . his fault?

Well, I guess it must be his fault if he can't even afford a nice house in a quiet suburb. We all know that anyone worthy of a good night's sleep has at least that much money. (All the rest are princesses, chronic complainers, or suffering from obscure psychosomatic disorders. Yep, losers of every stripe.)

Rule #1: Just don't be a victim. Just don't.

Rule #2: See rule number one.

He said the person living above him is the apartment manager, not the landlord. If I were him, I'd start by speaking to the manager to "express my concern" about his welfare in light of the noises I'm hearing in the middle of the night (this is America . . . everyone is devious now). Think up some good line and practice it. Calling the police as one letter suggested is so tempting, but I don't think I'd go there. In the meantime, I'd get some legal advice. There are ordinances that prohibit loud noise after a certain hour, and it is actually amazing how little noise is considered above the maximum. Good thing LW expressed concern about noise and received assurances before renting. As another letter mentioned, that is likely to be relevant to the question of what the LW has to do to get out of his lease.

Remember, too, at the moment it is a buyer's market. Do not assume that the building manager holds all the cards. LW, who is the other party to your lease? Consider approaching him directly and discussing this. I know, you may not want to poison the well . . . that is why I say, "consider." Chances are you have little or nothing to lose, though. In fact, it's even possible that the landlord owns other properties that would be more suitable for you, and will be more than glad to make nice rather than lose a tenant.

Money is tight these days. If you have savings in the bank, a solid job, and good credit, don't go around cowering!

As for the ultimate solution to your problem, I'll tell you my suggestion. Don't just get a new place. Try a new country.

I'm serious. I can't picture myself here once my (immigrant) parents are gone. People are way too mean.

and he is an a-hole. Arrive home after my SECOND job at 11pm, walk in the door and he starts banging on the ceiling.

Playing scrabble on the floor with my friends on a Friday night at 9pm and he starts banging on the ceiling.

Arrive home with my sister, both of us exhausted and getting ready for bed with a minimum amount of chatter, and he shouts up the air shaft and then goes down to the basement and turns off my power (along with several other neighbors who apparently "annoyed" him).

I complained to the landlord. He finally moved out to the suburbs.

Personally, I've gone and knocked on doors after midnight on a weeknight when I could no longer stand the thudding music shaking my bed for the 3rd time that week.

Some people have unreasonable expectations of their neighbors. I try to be reasonable, but sometimes you've gotta talk to them.

Sounds like the LW is the problem to me.

When I was nine, we lived in an old house in a very hot town. No air conditioning. Parents provided box fans for the windows. We kept bowls of ice cubes next to our beds. The fans saved our lives, by God. But, TO THIS DAY, I cannot sleep without a fan on.

Noisemakers are crap. You need one of those basic box fans from Ace. The highest setting is probably too high. I love the highest setting, but to you, it will sound like a plane preparing for takeoff. For you? Medium is perfect.

Noise is inevitable. I live in a situation where the other people living around me are pretty considerate. We're fairly aware of each other, but things do happen. Fans can massively decrease the chances of those crashes interrupting your night. If you've never slept with a fan before, it will probably be weird right off the bat, but after that? BLISS. I'm telling you. I'm always amazed that nobody else I know does this. It seems like the most obvious thing in the world.

However... camping and travel will be somewhat complicated by your newfound fan love. Earplugs do a pretty good imitation, though, especially if you hum a little bit as you're dropping off.

Have you tried the wax earplugs, by the way? You say you can still hear your landlord through earplugs, but I've always found the wax to be pretty damned effective. But maybe they're in there too far? Yoiks. Anyway. TRY A FAN. It's the best white noise in all the world.