"Even if you have the bestest location ever (I lived above a carport for six years in a corner apartment, had no one above me, and no one below me, and just one neighbor to the side), you might still experience times of intolerable noise -- just as I did thanks to the thin walls and one period where ten people crammed themselves into the apartment next door."

Part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Oftentimes, depending on the market and the need, people don't have a choice as to which available apartment to rent. You take the one that's open and hope for the best. Even if you have the bestest location ever (I lived above a carport for six years in a corner apartment, had no one above me, and no one below me, and just one neighbor to the side) and still experienced times of intolerable noise thanks to the thin walls and one period where ten people crammed themselves into the apartment next door. Yet the letter writer is to blame for not being able to sleep?

He's not a "genius" for renting a downstairs apartment? Why don't you take your kids and go rent a house, genius?

Years ago I lived below someone whose dishwasher kept me awake at night. After enduring it for a while, I realized I had to do something. So I wrote the following story, formatted it nicely with an illustration of a guy loading his dishwasher, then slid it under my neighbor’s door. It worked!

THE DISHWASHER THAT WENT THUMP IN THE NIGHT

A True Story

1:00 a.m. - My weary body finally hits the mattress. It has been an intense week and a half, and overwork and sleep deprivation has pushed me to the edge. If I don't get at least 7 hours of sleep tonight I’m afraid I may snap.

The next five and half hours are uneventful.

6:30 a.m. - Something on the edge of my unconsciousness ... a persistent "thump, thump, thump" ... then nothing ... then "thump, thump, thump" again at almost random intervals.

Now I am awake and hear it clearly... THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. The fan I keep running in my bedroom to mask urban noise while I sleep is defenseless against this auditory assault. Police sirens, helicopters, kids playing basketball, car stereos blaring - none can penetrate my sleep when that little fan is running. But somehow this mysterious thumping has managed to do so.

Aah... I remember the ear plugs. Good industrial strength ear plugs that have saved what would otherwise have been restless nights in cheap motels with paper thin walls. In go the ear plugs. Shut go the eyes.

thump, thump, thump... then nothing ... then thump thump, thump, thump thump

It is no use. I must find the source of this infernal noise.

I pull on my sweat pants, T-shirt, underwear, and shoes. (Damn, must remember next time to put the underwear on first.) My detective work leads me to the door of apartment 507. THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP ... It’s the dishwasher!

What to do? Like me, my neighbor assumes we live in a building where household appliances can be used freely. Alas, that is not the case.

I return to my bed, hoping the thump cycle will end shortly.

7:25 a.m. - It is no use. I can't get back to sleep. I decide to start the day early ... hoping I can make it through one more sleep deprived day. I resolve to ask my neighbor to run their dishwasher during waking hours (preferably in the evening).

8:00 p.m. - My neighbor finds an unusual item under their door - a short story starring their dishwasher. But being a great guy/gal, gets a chuckle out of it and resolves to do a good deed for another human being.

Thanks!

OK, this is probably totally off base but I thought I'd mention it as a possibility.

We own our own 2-story house, and every once in a while there is a loud crash type noise that comes from our 2nd floor. It is my husband in the recliner chair in the master bedroom, putting it back into the upright position. It doesn't sound particularly loud in the bedroom, but in the room below it sounds like something large and heavy breaking. The recliner mechanism somehow resonates through the floors.

Is it at all possible that the guy above you has a recliner, maybe even sleeps in it, and the noise happens when he gets up? If so, he might not even know that he's making such an awful noise.

I had a friend who rented an apartment right next door to a cocaine dealer. She was petrified. It was a somewhat larger building (about eight units, I believe), and everyone petitioned the owner to get rid of the dealer. No dice. (Pun intended.) She finally found a new place, this time directly below a woman who claimed to be a "Buddhist" nun. She was not a celibate nun. Nor was she monogamous, not even remotely. Her place was full of some rather strange types pretty much all the time. And she was really, really loud. This time, my friend wasn't scared, but she was tired and uncomfortable with the constant traffic past her door. She also started to suspect, for the first time, that her inability to find a decent place might have something to do with being black, and these thoughts made her feel depressed and powerless. (Thank God she didn't post her thoughts on the Internet.)

Yes, LW, you need to have more compassion for illegal day care, things that crash above your bedroom in the middle of the night, and basically everyone else who does not honor their agreements or try to conform their conduct to legal and social norms. Because otherwise you are a self-centered creep who thinks the whole building has to revolve around you and your quirkly desire to sleep. (For someone who can't even afford to buy a house, and whose comfort is therefore not worth all that much in market-driven terms) you sure have a lot of nerve!

Oh, what happened to my friend? She moved again. And the third time was the charm. She loves her new place, and her neighbors, and the area she's living in now. It turned out to be perfect for her.