Here's an excerpt from an interview I recently did at a different website. I'm a Ph.D. with a full-time job and primary custody. The entire interview is linked under my sig. Good luck!

9. You’re a single dad with two kids. How do you balance playing music with watching the kiddos?

You have to recognize that you only have time for a limited number of activities – there is no slack. You have to prioritize. I turned off the cable TV years ago. Last spring I took out all the landscaping on my lawn so it requires the barest minimum of attention during the summer when I am busiest. Why? Because watching sports and weeding the flower beds are not my highest priorities – being a dad to my girls, a good man for my partner, and a good guitarist are. Everything goes up against those priorities and is either made to fit or is discarded. These priorities are non-negotiable.

Logistically, most of the work I do with the guitar takes place after my girls go to bed. I schedule rehearsals, lessons and gigs for the two or three nights a week they spend with their mother. The upside of all this is, because I have eliminated a lot of the distractions in our home, we actually have more time to spend together. Weeknights typically involve a combination of homework, dinner, laundry, baths, board games, or maybe a DVD together (if it’s not too late). They get their whole dad the whole night. And after they go to bed, I go to my studio where everything is set to go so I can get through what I need to get through efficiently.

It took me a while to come up with the right quote for you. This is from gapingvoid.com:

"It took Michaelangelo four years to paint the Sistine Chapel. It took Herb just as long to NOT write his novel."

to tell Carey about your singing skills. If you want to perform, sing. Learn to warm up properly and sing, with or without accompaniment.I was lucky to born into a family of singers, including my Dad, an a capella singer in a barbershop chorus and quartet and stage productions and choirs. My sister is a teacher of choral music at the high school level and music director for a large church choir. My brother and I sing in choirs, choruses and stage plays and at funerals, weddings and special events. It's fun, fulfilling and easy. You only ever have to sing one note at a time, unless you're one of those Tibetan Chord singers.

Music speaks to you and it's a language that most of the world understands. I salute you for learning guitar, or trying to, but it's hard when you actually have something called "a life" that requires your time. But you can open your mouth and sing anywhere, one note at a time.

Instead of seeing guitar practice as time away from your kids, take them to lessons, buy them a guitar, buy them songbooks and use practice as together time. I know the practice was alone time, and you can still do some of that, but you won't feel as guilty practicing more if you arne't stealing time from your kids. YOur life is pretty good: you have kids, a comfortable incomre, respect and fulfillment at your career, a nice home--all of which many of us didn't get, can't figure out how to reach our potential. Be grateful fo the great life you do have.

Here is a woman who writes in explaining how she is obese, spends 480 hours (20 full days) per year driving her car to and from work, yet her concern for CT revolves around trying to fine-tune her approach to hacking around on a guitar.

Generally, I would consider this a pretty wide target for snark, but lately I feel too tired and busy to bother.

I 'm blown away by the generosity of Cary and the readers to a person who is anything but "on top of a game" - usually people here seems so demanding of perfection - kind of like the BF or the woman who wrote in earlier this week.Refreshing to think actions don't have to be "going anywhere" to perform them.

But Cary's comments on the burden of "visibilty' of being a woman seems so insightful and worthy of much deeper thought and discussion. As a woman I never realized how much a part of my life it has been to justify my existence.LauraBB's antithesis seemed interesting as well.What makes us become invisible to ourselves ?

Any comments or recommendations for reading on this subject would be greatly appreciated.

Somewhere, somehow, our society decided that the only people who should be allowed to make music were those that were "serious" about it. On top of that, they had to be good, very, very good. Otherwise, why bother?

Frankly, it's a poorer world when music making is left to the professionals. You are discovering a secret that unfortunately too many people live their lives and never discover: playing guitar is really, really fun. Definitely too much fun to leave it to the "chosen few." You don't always have time to practice. So what? Here's a secret: if you keep at it, slowly, surely, playing those chords you like so much over and over, occasionally struggling through things that are a little "too hard," you're going to get better. Keep in mind, too, some of the fine motor skills you are gaining take time and just can't be rushed -- your fingers will learn, however. I can promise you that. And trust that even when things don't seem to be moving forward, they are, below the surface.

Being a grown up beginner is hard. We've forgotten how long it took us as children to acquire the skills we now take for granted. Learning to read, write, just learning to talk. Learning to play an instrument takes time, too, and it doesn't go any faster just because you've become an expert at other things. How do I know this? Because like you, I started playing guitar as an adult. I took group classes and I was always the one who couldn't quite play the song as well as anyone else. I loved it just as much, however, and I kept going anyway. I would spend time at home going through books and playing the songs that had chords I recognized, or just strumming what I could and enjoying the sound the instrument made. I laughed a lot, mostly at my own mistakes. I learned a great deal: about patience, perseverance, sore fingers (argh), and I made progress, albeit slowly -- since I too didn't always have time to practice.

Fast forward many years: now I teach other people of all shapes and sizes to play.

Here's my advice for what it's worth: If you love it then whatever you do, don't stop! Find other people to play with -- go to Guitar camp (yup, they have those things for grown-ups too), post a notice on Craigslist (beginner looking for other beginners), find a workshop or a group class at a local music school, start a band. Don't get too hung up on how good/bad you are; it's a useless dichotomy. The real dichotomy is play/not play. Don't worry about how slow you are. Play anyway. Don't worry if your fingers don't move the way you tell them to. Play anyway. Don't worry about critics, real or imagined. Play anyway. Sing louder. Strum harder, or softer, or just hold your guitar and sing. The pleasure you are feeling is valid. Good luck, and happy strumming!