...I would recommend getting a Soloette travel guitar. It's a full-size nylon string electric that breaks down into a bag the size of a pool-cue case, and can easily be thrown in the back seat of your car (or the overhead bin on an airliner, if you're travelling). It's much easier to play in a cramped car than a regular instrument, plus, you can plug in a set of headphones and practice without anyone else hearing you. It makes finding the time to practice amazingly easy. (Obviously, I don't think you should give up your chosen instrument -- just the opposite! -- and I think the additional practice you could get from this would help it "all come together" for you faster than the way you're proceeding now.)

By the way, I guess I should probably mention that, while I own a Soloette myself, I have absolutely no connection with any company producing, distributing or selling it.

Music nourishes the soul. A technique that helped me master chords was to play in the dark...or with my eyes closed. NO PEEKING!

You have found something you love—keep doing it for the sheer joy of it.

You have stuck with it long enough to get decent calluses! YAY! That's COOL! Now you are a teeny tiny bit closer to being a "real" guitar player!

You say you have no trouble keeping a beat—even better! (That has always been my biggest obstacle to music.) Keep practicing, keep ENJOYING practicing. "Good" will come later.

Ya know, if it is happiness you seek, I wonder if there is any way to cut down on that 4 hours a day you are spending commuting. Imagine what you could do with 4 extra hours a day . . . 20 extra hours a week . . . 80 extra hours a month . . . . almost 1000 extra hours a YEAR!!!!

I guess my question is, when should I just give up?

You mean your job, right? The job with the two-hour commute one way, the job that doesn't get you home until seven at night (exhausted), the job that makes it impossible (yes, impossible) to take care of your health, the job that makes it so hard for you to enjoy this guitar thing that you want to enjoy.... (and, yes, I said "enjoy" not "perFECT").

I know jobs are hard to come by, etc etc., bad economy, etc, but sheesh. Four hours on the road every day?? Are you sure you haven't been sucked into some bullshit American dream? I'm talking about the "overeducation," the achievement mind-set (which definitely shows up in the way you talk about the guitar).

At what cost? You can't take care of your health??!?

What is that job paying for exactly? That's the real question. Is it paying for stuff you don't want or need, but that your neighbors or your parents or your congressmen think you should have? Like a boutique trash can, Wii, cars (plural), iPhones for everyone, etc.? Whatever it's paying for, can you get rid of it so you don't need the job? It's curious to me that you seem not to even entertain the idea that this job is in your way. Has it occured to you that the guitar could be pointing you toward more significant life changes?

Maybe, just maybe, you secretly would prefer to enjoy your actual life rather than playing some role somebody else has assigned you. Two hours one way?

Screw the chords.

Play melodies that you can hum. One note at a time. Have fun with it. Make nice sounds.

Drones are nice. Play an open string and whatever note sounds good to you. Have fun!

Two things.

1. I play guitar, I just mess around and noodle (the technical term for aimlessly playing) When I got my first guitar I was bad, I mean really bad. But now after 20 years I'm doing O.K. I'm not a virtuoso but I can make some decent enough sounds. One thing I can recommend is getting something to exercise your fingers, like the Gripmaster or a hard gel stress ball, this can help your guitar playing immensely. It isn't just the callouses, playing guitar requires you build up some hand muscles that you don't normally use.

I would also recommend buying a decent guitar, nothing too expensive, but nothing too cheap either. You want your guitar to play and sound well.

2. But it sounds like you're wasting your life away with the commute. If you drive two hours a day, you spend 40 hours a month commuting. That's a whole work week wasted, every month! You need to do something like work closer to home or move closer to work. This is not something to do just to play the guitar, but you might be able to spend more time with the kids and get that exercise. Good luck.

Keep playing! Write your own songs! That way, as well as you play them is how they go!

First, don't listen to the naysayers here. You enjoy playing the guitar, learning to play the guitar. So do it. Rhythm is huge, so you do have something right already. Seriously, it's no small thing to be able to keep the beat.

I know what you are going through-- I started to learn the fiddle a few years ago. It's hard, as someone who always wants to be good at things, to do something that is not coming easily. But music is such a soul-satisfying thing, that it is, for me, worth the difficulty. Trust me, the violin (being fretless, and having to be played with a bow) can sound pretty awful when you are learning. Jeez! The guitar does not screech, and, if tuned, the notes are just waiting for you to hit them. But one does learn, even without a ton of talent. I will never be excellent, but being able to play some tunes nicely is just fine for my purposes and I suspect would be fine for yours. So here are my tips:

Give yourself permission to suck. You are an adult and you can do something you enjoy without needing to be brilliant at it. And if you practice in a focussed way, you will get better. Take it one step at a time. Every time you get something right, or a bit sounds good, pat yourself on the back. Don't think "Yeah, but!" think "Woohoo! That was good!" Chances are, you aren't going anywhere with it-- you are not working to get better for scholarships or fame. It's something for yourself and it makes you happy. You can set an example for your children (and maybe your husband)-- enthusiasms don't need to be all about, or only about, what you are already good at. And learning to do something you love can be its own reward.

Seems like one issue is that your family doesn't want to suffer through the early stages of you learning to play. Fine. But hasn't everyone suffered through the early stages of other family members learning something? The kids were brilliant at the piano immediately, were they? I doubt it. Suggest they be supportive and find something nice to say instead. You are a person in the family, too, and deserve some loving support, too. Ask for it. You deserve it.

And, for a little peace of mind for yourself, consider stopping off in a park on the way to or from work, and playing/practicing there in peace for a half hour. (I assume that, with your schedule, you are not expected to put dinner on the table. If you are, change that.)

I don't know what sort of music you like, but the bluegrass scene is rife with jamming. Every festival has jam tents, where people of all levels play old-timey tunes (pretty simple stuff) together. It's huge fun, and very satisfying-- and you can strum quietly, keeping the beat, in the background if you like. There will always be plenty of people who want to do the solo bits. There are festivals all over the place, all summer long.

You go, girl!