...next time you see him watching television, "Where do you see this going? Are you intending to be the next Roger Ebert?" Next time you catch him reading fiction, "Where do you see this going? Shouldn't you be spending your reading time on something ore productive, like a manual related to your job?" Next time he doodles on a pad of paper, ask "Working up to being the next Picasso?" When he looks blankly at you and says "What are you talking about? It's just a tv show/book/scribble. It's for fun." say, "Good. We understand each other completely. So the next time I hear that question from you about my guitar, I'll know that you aren't being clueless, but deliberately being an asshole."

My, how nice for you.

Everything you listed is so much easier if you have a wife.

. . . the only purpose of work is so we can live. We don't live to work.

EVERYBODY needs something in their life that gives them joy. Work is what we do to create circumstances that allow that to happen. Nothing else has any meaning unless your life has joy.

And if work/commuting to work interferes with the important things in life: like family, friends, eating good meals together, laughing, making music, making art, enjoying your home, developing as a person . . . then I think it's time to find other work.

Anything else is just wasting your life as a slave. And It's all over in the blink of an eye.

How sad that we live in a society where there is so much emphasis on our pursuits being worthwhile only if we do them well and they have some tangible benefit. What about the need for those things that feed our soul? Playing the guitar obviously does this for "mom, lawyer, musician." While some responses criticized her for not having more time for her family, it sounds like the one she has very little time for is herself, and she carves out a few minutes during lunch hours, breaks, and after the kids are in bed for a passion that obviously gives her unmitigated joy.

While I did not have time to read all the responses, I must comment on two. One encouraged the writer to continue her playing, but criticized her for spending so little time with her kids because of her long work hours and "sending them off to various lessons on weekends." Her hours are not longer than those of many working professionals, male and female, but I doubt that the response would have been the same were she male. The only lessons that she "sends them off to" that I saw were their piano lessons.

Another response stated summarily that the writer clearly doesn't have time for guitar, that her job and family must come first. Again, it sounds to me like the person there is no real time for is herself. Her job and her family get the vast majority of her time and energy. Doesn't she deserve anything?

And what about the positive lessons her children are receiving, eye-rolling notwithstanding, that she is giving by example? That it is okay to pursue a passion for the joy of it, not because you're necessarily good at it, or will make money by doing it, or gain recognition of others? That it is okay for mothers to take time for themselves and develop interests outside of their role as mother? That it is never too late to learn something new?

Finally, I have been playing most of my life-- since about 13 y/o. It's been a long time, but what I remember is how hard that first year(or even two years) were. Just finally getting the calluses so your fingers aren't incredibly painful when you play for more than a few minutes is a real accomplishment. You're learning to contort your fingers into positions that seem physically impossible. Tiny muscles are being used in ways in which they have never before been called upon. Holding the right strings down without touching neighboring strings is not an easy thing to do. It sounds to me like you are about where you can expect to be for the first year. If you keep at it, these basics will eventually become easier, and you will begin to see real progress. Be patient with yourself! Learning a musical instrument is not easy at any age! How did your kids sound when they first started piano lessons? Keep on picking, when and wherever you can. This is a gift you deserve to give yourself.

can you keep a guitar in your office? I work in high tech and for a while I was on endless conference calls. I would pick up a guitar and quietly strum meaningless chords. My fingers got used to finding their places without my brain getting involved, and I didn't have to fidget the way I normally would have (ADHD)

At risk of repeating, doing it because you enjoy sitting there strumming beautiful chords is enough. It doesn't need to get better, it doesn't need to get you on stage. If you enjoy it enough for yourself, nothing else matters.

On another note (pun not intended) have you considered singing?

I'm a 50 yr old male, and have wanted to make music my whole life. I've futzed around with guitars, piano, saxophone, harmonicas, bass guitar, loop sequencing, all without much success. I never put in the practice time. But I've got all these great musical things around me and I love to get them out occasionally and futz with them.

But it finally dawned on me that what I REALLY want to do is sing. I always thought I had to learn an instrument then play and sing, but it was the singing that always really got me going. I joined a choir group and absolutely love it. When I feel music floating out of my body on a breath, it's just amazing. When I hear my voice blending with my group into a single sound, it's sublime.

Advantages of singing: Everyone's got a voice. You don't need to learn how to control it with your fingers and coordinate your hands. You can take it anywhere and practice in the car.