I wasn't very good, so I quit...is this helpful advice?

Dear LW,

Please take a look at this website:

http://www.musicafter50.com

And this page:

http://www.musicafter50.com/share-your-story/

And this page, which I just posted minutes ago!

http://www.musicafter50.com/2009/07/contributing-your-voice/

Best,

L.

Please read this post below (forgot to add to my last post)...Practice 10-15 minutes a day and live your life the other 23.75 hours...

http://www.musicafter50.com/practice/

Seriously, man, you need to chill a bit when it comes to parenting questions. You sound like the LW confessed to child abuse or something, and your reaction is way disproportionate. Do you really think a good mother is one who subsumes her entire identity to her children and does nothing else with her life? Do you think it makes for a happy person, mother, or family if one person bears the brunt of everyone else having the freedom to follow their interests and skills? My mother loves to sing and play the piano and it is a love that has continued through all aspects of her life. She taught me how to play and all her kids how to appreciate good songs. She now sings in her church choir and continues to take pleasure and relaxation from music. Would you have told her back-in-the-day that those interests was time-squandering "crap that will mean nothing... in 20 years?" Your assignment for the day is to (re) read THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE, and see just what happens to women who are forced to drop every single thing that makes them a person in order to chase the unattainable "good mother" role. TFM's take on this is as true today as it ever was.

I learned to play the trumpet in 5th grade. It was hard at first, but I eventually got it. At age 40 I decided to fulfill a 20 year old dream and learn to play the piano. I could make it through the piano books, but I never really "got" it. I think there are neuron connections between brain and fingers that are more easily made at a young age. I gave up the piano when I realized I was never going to get past the basics, and my joints began to hurt from the practicing I was doing to try to overcome the road block. For me, the 40's have been accepting that I was never going to be a rock star or movie star and allowing myself to take pride in the things I do do well. I also allow myself to enjoy the talents of real artists of all stripes and be grateful for the efforts they made to raise their skills to that level.

My advice is to keep playing as long as it is fun, but don't feel like you are a failure if you don't make it past the chord level.

I am also a lawyer, and at about the same ages as you are now, I took up hammer dulcimer. The nice thing about this instrument - which is the great great great grandmother/father to the Piano, is that it does not hurt to play it. If you like instruments such as the harp, you will love the beautiful sound of the hammer dulcimer. Also, as you played Piano, you will find this instrument a bit more intuitive for you.

I have been doing this now for 10 years - and while not a brilliant player - I am decent. I am sure if I had time to practice I would be much much better.

So now, to check out the sounds - go to youtube and just put in the term "hammer dulcimer" and see what pops up.

I believe that there is a "right" instrument for each of us - its finding it that can be difficult.

I hate to sound negative, but if you are still at the beginner stage after a year of lessons, I doubt you will ever learn to play the guitar. My brother taught himself to play both the guitar and the piano in a very short time. He plays beautifully. It was easy for him; he just has natural talent.

If I were you, I would spend my lunch hour at the gym. Getting in good shape physically can make you feel great. And it is so much better than struggling with something at which you are obviously not very good.

I've been playing guitar for 20 years (damn, I can't believe it's been that long). While learning an instrument is an end in itself, it also has wider-ranging repercussions. I grew up in the middle of nowhere in the mid-west, and playing guitar got me interested in music, which expanded my worldview. As I learned more about music, I couldn't help but become more discerning about what I listened to, and that carried over to film, art, literature, politics, and every other aspect of life. I was later fortunate enough to be in a couple of bands that put out records (back when people still bought records) and I managed to visit a bunch of countries on tour, places I never would have seen had I not played guitar.

I never made any money, and now I'm in my mid-thirties and just now getting started on having a career (in the middle of the worst recession of my lifetime), but if I had never started to play music I shudder to think what my life would have been like. I may have left my hometown, but I would probably never have traveled to Australia or Spain. But even if you play only to amuse yourself (that's how I started), music is a valuable and rewarding activity.

Had I never started playing the guitar, my life would have been boring as hell. I'm sure I would still have that small-town mid-western mindset had music not expanded my horizons. Being curious and learning about music is a great exercise, and is wonderful to apply to other areas of your life. If I had never played guitar, I might never have read Balzac, been to the Guggenheim, or seen any Tarkovsky movies (or Jackie Chan, for that matter). In fact, I'd probably still be going to church, might have voted for George W. Bush, and might even have gone to see that crappy Transformers movie this weekend. Instead, trust me, things are much better.

So, by all means, keep playing guitar. It sounds like you are so wrapped up in living your life that you don't have time to create anything. You have to have time in life to create, and to appreciate what others have created.

(And if, at some point in the future, guitar starts to bore you, then just move on to something else. After 20 years I was starting to get a little bored, so I just picked up the banjo. That oughtta keep me occupied for another few years.)