I agree. I think it's ok to have joy. It's ok to not sacrifice every freaking minute for one's kids. Thirty minutes a day to keep balance and sanity. That someone has a problem with that just boggles my mind.

I'm fighting with a moveable D chord (one of the more difficult chords- my evil genius teacher wants me to master it and play with arpeggiating it) and moving my fingers around- (I have calluses mand they hurt) I also smile. My husband is fighting through the F barre. He and I have something to smile about. "try my guitar...what if you move your finger.."

Buy a good guitar, LW. Spend at least $300. Look at the musciansfriend.com catalog and find the one that calls to you, Put some fast fret on it, have a guitar shop do a set up, and I'll bet it will be easier. Electric and hollowbody/semi hollow necks are narrower and easier to play. I have a full hollowbody, a beautiful Ibanez Artcore. It has changed my playing. SOme people fit a Gibson, some a Fender, everyone has a fit.

Because she genuinely enjoys the guitar in a way that the TV cannot be enjoyed b.

It freaks people out sometimes to find that a mother might enjoy something besides her children, or that a wife might enjoy something besides her husband. The notion of women as empty vessels hasn't really left us.

I'm not a boomer, but my mother was, and I saw the catastrophic damage that growing up in the 50s, when this notion was rampant, could do. And yes, she's still incredibly depressed.

Kids might sneer, especially when they're in their teens, but they do not want micromanagement. 30 minutes a day of loosely supervised time not only won't kill them, it's good for them. It forces them to learn to entertain themselves.

And sheesh, she's a lawyer! She's a decent breadwinner. What happened to the idea that the breadwinner was entitled to some relaxation, since breadwinning is so stressful?

Oh, right. That only applies to men.

Half an hour of guitar practice is worth far more than half an hour of TV. There's really no comparison. Even the process of mastering the fingerings themselves is good for the brain, even if the player never becomes a virtuoso, and it's especially good for an aging brain. The cognitive demands involved in learning an instrument in mid-life are among the best preventive measures against senility I can think of.

Like a workout for the brain.

Or is that what people are afraid of? That she might get smarter?

So what is she allowed to do for herself? If 15-30 minutes a day of guitar is too much time away from family and work, what should she do? Watch TV? Get a manicure once a week? Seriously, does she have to give up showers, too? It's "time from the family." Or does she have to take them all in there with her? How are her kids harmed by 30 minutes without her full attention?

When asking for 30 minutes to yourself a day is "being selfish", there's a massive problem. Everyone deserves 30 minutes of "me" time a day. Spouses trade off. Single parents find it before the kids wake up or after they go to bed. Sometimes they can do what the LW does: play while her family is there, "parallel play". To be doing different things while together is powerful; kids often will tell you the most important stuff when you are not micro-focusing on them like a laser beam.

My doctor told me that parents who never do for themselves, who only take care of others, get sick and depressed more. By never taking time for themselves, they wind up flat on their backs, able to take care of no one. To take a reasonable amount of time for ourselves is to stay healthy.

Thirty minutes a day is reasonable. It's one tv show. Why is the tv show ok and guitar not?

I'm also a lawyer. I'm also 67. I'm also very busy. I'm also a musician and have been since age 5. I can't read or write a note. But that's never stopped me. I have a 5 piece Blues/R 'n B group that I love playing with (they're all great players too). If you have music in you, you simply don't get rid of it. You play and play and practice some more. It's the joy of playing and making music and not the end game that counts. I've played piano by ear all my life and started on guitar when I was a teenager (yes, calluses and all). But there's just nothing better than music - nothing. It's the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Hang in there. It's worth it.

The Suzuki method of learning music has young tots listening every day to "Twinkle, Twinkle" for ONE WHOLE YEAR before they play it. They spend weeks learning how to hold the bow. Can you record your teacher playing the song you are learning and listen to it on your commute? Also find recordings of songs you will be learning how to play in the future. It is amazing, but you will benefit tremendously by imaging yourself playing. This way you can really make use of the time you are commuting.

Best of luck to you. You already have the most important part down - the passion!

I can't get over the support for a woman to ignore her family and career!

"I don't agree with anyone who asks, "Where is this going?". Why does it have to be a moneymaker or a big ticket to be worthy?"

Because it comes at the expense of her family and career. Because her husband is asking her why playing the guitar is more important than time with her kids or her relationship with her partner.

"Setting a powerful example for your kids

Too often, parents, especially mothers, let who they are disappear into the too-busy mix of marriage, work, parenthood, and, in your case, commuting."

Right. Because you should ignore your responsibilities and do what makes YOU happy right? Typical self absorbed baby boomer B.S.

"By taking up and sticking with guitar, you're showing your kids that it's okay to pursue their passions, "

Even at the expense of those they love?