We live in an age where the only "valid" music is perfect rendition on an expensive CD. Hogwash. Music can and should be enjoyed at any level. You enjoy your strumming? Do it. What harm.

Also? Try back chaining the tunes. Learn the last measure first. When that is learned, add in the next to the last measure. And so on. Going from a new passage to an already learned and comfortable passage is more reinforcing than going from a learned passage to an unfamiliar, new passage.

It will be easier to learn the tune this way and your practice time will be more rewarding.

Enjoy your music!

It doesn't matter "where this is going" (!) What matters is that you find it fulfilling. Playing music is not about becoming the next Segovia or Parkening. It's about self-expression, it's about taking the condition of your heart and putting it into sound vibration and letting it resonate with you. This is a profound and healing process. It feeds you.

I agree with the others that you need to make even just 15 minutes a day your sacred time to strum. Keep taking lessons. Don't worry about your "progress." It's about just being with the instrument and the sound it makes.

For encouragement, I recommend you read "Grand Obsession: A Piano Odyssey" by Perri Knize. She was also at midlife when she developed an inexplicable passion for the sound of the piano and had to pursue it. The book is about her quest to understand the true nature of her obsession, and it will no doubt help you to better understand yours, inspire you, and support you in your need for the guitar.

Follow what calls to you. It will take you to some most surprising places.

Speaking of Alexander McCall Smith, his main character, Precious, does not call herself "fat" but rather "traditionally built." I love that!

LW,

I wish I knew you because I really like you. I'm sure that we'd be friends -- maybe even more than friends -- maybe we could play really bad music together because I play the harmonica. That is, I BLOW AIR IN the harmonica and fantasize that one day it will be music. I mostly do it when I have to drive alone to another town for work. There I am on a lonely highway with the music cranked up, one hand on the wheel and one hand holding the harmonica to my mouth, waiting for the part I can play along to and trying to mimic the sound. There aren't many songs with good harmonica parts but I have a bunch picked out for my drives.

Anyway, I think your kids and your husband are lucky. You sound like a really great person who has not lost passion or humor. You're going to keep them all real -- and when the time comes -- and it will -- when one of them wants to do something a little bit edgy you'll be right there encouraging them and letting them know that it's okay to not be perfect but it's not okay to not participate in life.

Who the hell cares that you're too fat. We all are. If not, we're too something else. I love my girlfriends and not a single one of them is perfect. But every one of them lives life to the fullest -- tries to squeeze out every drop.

You're gonna get good on that guitar, you know. Don't stop. You're on the right track and you'll know it when you look back. But it's the journey that matters most. If you manage to teach that to your kids, they'll thank you for it.

Your letter was so poignant, do not give up the guitar! It is your passion and joy, why would you give that up just to appease family naysayers? All the better that pursuing it makes you slightly eccentric and I see no reason why you should not stubbornly continue to learn a musical instrument that gives you great pleasure even as you recognize that doing so is slightly absurd. Carve out time when you can; as others have said, even a few minutes a day, why not?

The author Alexander McCall Smith of the Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency plays in an small orchestra of self-described terrible players, yes, people who enjoy playing their instrument of choice but are unable to do so very well. They hold a concert once I year, I think, just for the sheer ridiculousness of it. If you lived in Scotland, they would probably be delighted to have such a determined yet unaccomplished guitar player in their midst!

My own father took up piano lessons in his 50s and never did do very well at it but we adored him for it. He pounded out an easy version of the "Wabash Cannonball" for years and we thought he might just be stuck there but slowly he did improve and was able to play some nice pieces as time went on.

Taking up a new hobby is a positive example for your children (and your husband) - you are showing them that learning is a life-long process and that one should not be afraid of trying new things. Your guitar playing does not have to "go anywhere" for it to be justified.

... its time to "give up" guitar when it doesn't give you pleasure any more. Clearly, that day has not come.

And if the rule is "if you're not good at it, don't do it" most of us wouldn't get off the couch.

Obviously time is an issue. If you want to keep playing guitar - and as Cary mentioned your letter just screams that you should keep playing - you need to cut back on something else. First thing you should show this letter to your husband. Make it clear that this is important to you and his little comments aren't appreciated, and neither are the kids'. See if you and he between you can't carve out some time from your schedule. What's he doing while you're taking the kids to their lessons? Any way the kids can get there themselves? (I don't know how old your kids are but I walked, biked or took the bus to swimming lessons starting at 9.)

Your whole life seems to be about work and your family. Where the heck is your time??