...it's okay, completely okay, to keep it that way. It's not your husband's, not your kids', it's yours. Own it. Make room for it when you can. I have three guitars and play all of them badly and have never once considered giving them up. I don't play in a band. No band would have me. I'm okay with that, really. But after a long day battling against a dead economy and the daily struggles that always seem to get in the way of all of the good stuff, I still know that there's a Les Paul sitting in the corner plugged into a cheap 30 watt practice amp that doesn't judge me, expect anything from me, or care if I have chops or not. It's just always there.

So, in those moments of doubt, confusion, loneliness, hurt, surliness, joy, triumph... well, I just wail. All is right with the world.

You can do that, too. No one expects you to be Joni Mitchell or Andreas Segovia. Strum to your heart's content. Get lost in it. Make music.

even though you aren't very good reminds me of Roger Ebert's review of the movie Ed Wood (great movie; see it if you haven't) about a "B-Movie" director of the 1940s and 1950s. Ed Wood made terrible, cheesy movies. But this movie about him (he's played by Johnny Depp) showed his great enthusiasm in his work; he loved to make movies.

Ebert said that most movies about creative types (or athletes, great leaders) show that hard work and enthusiasm leads to success. This movie shows that even those with limited talents can and should be enthusiastic in creating their life's dreams. It reminds us that we can all do what we love with passion; whether we're good or not is irrelevant.

So, be Ed Wood.

Or as Rumi said - be your note; don't stop; sing LOUD!

As one invisible middle-aged fat woman to another: There were, yes, years at a time I didn't touch a guitar but I always came back. My playing took a great leap forward when I joined a Sunday afternoon bluegrass circle. The members' abilities were all over the map, but I learned to strum in time, anticipate chord progressions and basically feel like a million bucks when I played.

Do whatever you have to do. It's not all or nothing, and your guitar will always be waiting for you. Remember that working out will actually make you a better player, because holding a guitar can strain a lot of muscles. It will improve your posture and you'll be able to play longer.

Unseen's letter struck a chord (sorry for the pun), probably because my wife, being at the same stage in life, also considers herself to be mostly invisible to society. I encourage her to try anything, do anything, that she may enjoy, but she often doesn't because she doesn't want to be less than perfect. I understand that.

I play the bass guitar. I love to play along with music or the little riffs in my head. But I really suck. But I really enjoy it, so I do it. And Unseen should do it, too.

I have noticed as I get older that I get more satisfaction out of tackling really really difficult things, rather than gravitating to those things that have always come easiest for me, such as Art and Writing (which is what I actually do for a living). These days, the more "impossible" something seems, the more satisfying it turns out to be.

For my example, I was always the world's worst Math student. (Some of you out there will be saying "Oh, no, I was the worst!" but please trust me—I was utterly hopeless!) I can make a half-decent drawing or painting, but I would literally turn white at the thought of facing any task involving numbers.

So, when I turned 30, I decided to really try to learn Math once and for all—from the very beginning. Yup, I'm talking about starting with Elementary School Math.

I found an excellent teacher, who spent time providing a complete review of all the basics, and then I worked and worked and worked through every single step of every single question until I finally got it.

Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Division . . . and oh, god Fractions! Decimals! Exponents, Geometry, Algebra, Trigonometry . . . and on and on . . . for 3 years until I completed University Prep Pre-Calculus (Grade 12) with a respectable grade of 88%. This remains one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. (And my husband, a real math whiz, still tells me how cool he thinks it is that I did this.)

But I must emphasize that NONE of it came easy, even the basics. But once I finally grasped what each concept was really about, the next steps became much less intimidating. At a certain point, I realized that I could "do math," even some of the more advanced concepts, if I took the time to try to understand it.

Since then, I have moved on to courses in Physics and Chemistry . . . all just purely for a wierd kind of "fun." And I have been doing pretty good at those too, much to my own amazement. I'm not "acing" any of it—I won't ever win a Nobel Prize or even a place on the Dean's List, but I am GETTING it, slowly but surely, and a whole new way of looking at the world is revealing itself. It takes practice, practice, practice, but it's fascinating and I love it. And I couldn't have done either of these new things without getting comfortable with the Math.

This Fall I turn 41 and am planning to sign up for Calculus.

I don't "need" to do any of this for my job, or to get into an academic program. It's all just for me.

I should add that I am well past the age where I feel self-conscious about doing something that others might consider so obviously "nerdy" or a waste of time, or about being one of the older students in the class . . . oh, well, they can go back to their TV-watching or whatever . . . I have studying to do . . . studying I WANT to do.

So, LW, keep playing the guitar, even though right now you think you are not "good enough" at it. Yes, it is difficult, but that is part of what makes it so worthwhile.

And it is BEAUTIFUL, which is more than enough reason to pick it up and PLAY at every available opportunity. This is really what life is all about.