LW, the weight loss thing isn't that hard - of course exerise would make the weight loss easier, but diet is a larger factor. Start taking in fewer calories/day than you need to stay alive. You don't need 'extra time' to be hungry. Of course I don't know if obsessing about your weight is really useful. If you work on it and get thinner, you're just setting yourself up for a lifetime struggle of trying to keep thin, or more likely a lifetime of taking off weight you 'gained over the holidays'. As for guitar, you seem to have time for it, considering your ambitions (none) are realistic. I'm more concerned about the time you spend with your family (very little). You give little time during the week and you're sending your kids away for various 'lessons' on the weekend. Them kids will only be kids for a short while - don't squander this time on 'lessons' and your all-so-important work! WTF did you have kids when you want to spend less than 1/7 of your time being a parent? FFS, parenting is a once in a lifetime experience and you're shitting it away for crap that will mean nothing to you in 20 years.

Beautiful answer by Cary today, it really struck a chord in me (if you'll pardon the pun). Maybe the reason so many of us are perfectionists is because we're afraid of failing in front of others. But you're already overcoming that, by practicing no matter what - even if you only have a few minutes to spare each day.

I'm driven every day, not to play guitar but to draw, because for me, not being able to draw is like not being able to breathe. So don't listen to the naysayers, would they also criticize you for breathing too much air? Playing guitar is your time to breathe, don't give it up.

And do not listen to that twit who seems to think that you asked for advice on how to lose weight, which was NOT your question, and is not the slightest bit relevant to anything. Hmph.

Playing the guitar gives you joy, full stop. That is the only reason to do it, and no other reason is required. Your husband 'gently asking' 'where do you think this is going?' and your kids rolling their eyes--that's abusive! They are being condescending and dismissive of your joy! That's horrible! Ignore them!

More than that--let them know, clearly and sharply, that you have had enough of their input, and that the activities you choose to do in your very limited spare time are none of their business. Sheesh.

can you get a job closer to home and save yourself the commute? or cut down to a part time schedule?

what law has it that lawyers have to work such an insane schedule that even if you have a "lifestyle" gig your commute is still taking up 14-20 hours of your week?

yes, get exercise and eat better.

no, don't give up guitar. one day it will come together and while it could take years, you are young and have plenty of decades to enjoy your skill when you master it.

Don't quit. I have played guitar for 45 years, for a living and with a day gig, with kids and without, and I've learned a couple of things that might help you.

First, the relationship between you and the guitar is sacred in its own way. It will keep you sane and give you delight when little else does. Second, getting good on guitar is the simplest of equations: time + concentration. If you pay attention when you play, and if you play often -- not fanatically, just often -- you get better. Third, if you're a parent working a day job, you have to find time between the cracks in your life. Fifteen minutes is better than nothing.

Fourth, use your drive time -- it's all you've got. Obviously you can't play guitar in the car, but you can listen to the music you love. Find some music that you can someday imagine playing, and absorb it. Just listen to it, even if you have no clue what they're doing. Someday it will come out in your fingers. And don't just listen to guitar music, listen to whatever music you love. Sing with it. Let it in, and let it out.

Fifth, be patient. Just keep doing it and don't compare yourself to anyone. Sixth, dabble in lessons. Find someone to teach you something, take a break, find someone else. Your job is not to be a slavish imitator, your job is to play. Seventh, laugh at yourself, but don't put yourself down. If you're still trying to learn "Stairway to Heaven" at 90, you'll be that 90 year-old-lady who plays the first four measures of "Stairway to Heaven." Is there someone better to be?

... its time to "give up" guitar when it doesn't give you pleasure any more. Clearly, that day has not come.

And if the rule is "if you're not good at it, don't do it" most of us wouldn't get off the couch.

Obviously time is an issue. If you want to keep playing guitar - and as Cary mentioned your letter just screams that you should keep playing - you need to cut back on something else. First thing you should show this letter to your husband. Make it clear that this is important to you and his little comments aren't appreciated, and neither are the kids'. See if you and he between you can't carve out some time from your schedule. What's he doing while you're taking the kids to their lessons? Any way the kids can get there themselves? (I don't know how old your kids are but I walked, biked or took the bus to swimming lessons starting at 9.)

Your whole life seems to be about work and your family. Where the heck is your time??

Your letter was so poignant, do not give up the guitar! It is your passion and joy, why would you give that up just to appease family naysayers? All the better that pursuing it makes you slightly eccentric and I see no reason why you should not stubbornly continue to learn a musical instrument that gives you great pleasure even as you recognize that doing so is slightly absurd. Carve out time when you can; as others have said, even a few minutes a day, why not?

The author Alexander McCall Smith of the Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency plays in an small orchestra of self-described terrible players, yes, people who enjoy playing their instrument of choice but are unable to do so very well. They hold a concert once I year, I think, just for the sheer ridiculousness of it. If you lived in Scotland, they would probably be delighted to have such a determined yet unaccomplished guitar player in their midst!

My own father took up piano lessons in his 50s and never did do very well at it but we adored him for it. He pounded out an easy version of the "Wabash Cannonball" for years and we thought he might just be stuck there but slowly he did improve and was able to play some nice pieces as time went on.

Taking up a new hobby is a positive example for your children (and your husband) - you are showing them that learning is a life-long process and that one should not be afraid of trying new things. Your guitar playing does not have to "go anywhere" for it to be justified.