- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
Found I had more to say about this...
Cary's answer is useful, but I don't think gets to the heart of your situation. Yes, he's hurting your feelings, but I don't believe he's doing it on purpose.
Because he doesn't understand that you have feelings.
Because he sees you as an OBJECT, not a person.
Because only unchanging objects, or gods, can be "perfect." Non-human things. Humans are, by definition, imperfect.
I knew someone like this very briefly, before I got him out of my life. We'd met only once, and corresponded for a little bit. He had an idealized notion of who I was that was based only on what he WANTED me to be, not on what I actually was. Whenever something I did or said didn't match with the perfect image of me he had in his head, he was "disappointed." He didn't want to learn more about who I was; he wanted me to be this mythical girl he had in his head.
So yeah, he's hurting your feelings, but more to the point, he doesn't know or care who you actually are. Because a real, complicated, imperfect person is too much for him to deal with.
