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Honestly LW you had to write somebody about this? Here's a simple truth - you can't change people. The only way BF will change is if you dump his rear end tonight. Maybe he'll get better by the next girl, but you've accepted his crap day in and day out for 5 years - this is the pattern, and it will stay the same for the rest of your time together. Stop pretending it's going to get better. It won't, get out, period.