Dear LW - you're too boring to be of interest. Get a friggin life.

But what does this mean?

One of the ways I deal with the hollowness is to volunteer, because being a part of something larger than myself and being involved in transformational activities is one thing that helps to make me feel life is worth living (I'm not actively suicidal). It's clear to me that there is a groundswell happening in response to the troubles of our times. I can see the seeds of things happening, and I want to be a part of that.

"tranformational activites"? What does this mean? The social and educational volunteer work I do with kids, college students, and community associations is incremental and direct. The biggest challenge is knowing that it will take a lot of time to see small but important changes. The second biggest challenge is understanding that people want to work with you, and not be your "project". Persuading and not "knowing it all" can be a cross-class challenge.

Volunteer because you like the activities or the people, not to fill a hole in your soul. I like software and music, so teaching kids to podcast or make electronic music is fun for me. I like working with musicians, so being in the band for children's theater or community groups is fun. I like talking to people one on one, so mentoring works. One of my friends loves web design and politics, so she volunteers on web design projects for political campaigns.

Volunteering must have an element of fun, either through liking the people, the event, or the activity. If you only do it because it is "important", then it will become cold.

I wonder what the LW does for fun, period? Perhaps LW should concentrate on fun. Once this person identifies fun activities, then incorporate those activities into volunteer work.

Maybe you don't want to volunteer per se. Maybe you just want to meet new people and do fun activities together. Have you been to Meetup.com? I joined a few outdoors groups, and I'm having a great time. Meetup has all kinds of groups... book clubs, spiritual groups, outdoors groups, photography, gardening, etc. Literally thousands of things.

Might be worth a look, anyway. :)

I know what you mean. I don't always enjoy volunteering either, but I do it. Sorry, but doing the right thing isn't always fun or rewarding. To those who are judging the LW--have you ever walked a precinct filled with people who support your candidate's opponent? Not fun. Have you ever stood in the rain and gathered signature after signature on a petition? Try it sometime.

Yes, you'll feel cold, unmotivated, and disconnected. And other people, who think you're being a goody-two-shoes, will try to talk you out of it.

Do it anyway.

I so respect people like you, LW. The world is a better place because you're in it.

At least the LW thinks about things and recognizes the value in taking responsibility for something outside himself. Way more than can be said of most people. Sounds like his desire to do the right thing just hasn't found a focus. He has no passion. LW, if there is a particular injustice in the world that you obsess about, start there. For me, injustice is a huge motivator.

I have been volunteering with the same non-profit for 10 years. I am very passionate about the group's mission. In fact, I believe it is my life's work. I managed to start a program--with the help of the group--that has been very successful. However, I am miserable. Why? Because I can't stand the people I work with. I think they make stupid decisions. I am frustrated by their lack of commitment. I think they are too self-congratulatory. I don't feel they give me enough credit for what I do (Cary is right). When I come home from meetings with the group I am full of rage and tell myself I am going to resign. The constant psychic drag of dealing with these people often cancels out the sense of rightness I have working on the group's projects.

Right now I am thinking of quitting again. Or at least taking a hiatus. Maybe crawling out of this ego-bashing forum will give me more perspective on why the grief it causes me overshadows the passion that led me into it.

Your letter is a mixture of arrogance and depression. You know you can't change people, right? I mean, on a very basic level, you understand why wanting to is a waste of time? And it's also wrong to want to. If you don't understand those two things then you're going to agonize all your life.

We don't do good acts for the outcome. We do them for ourselves. Focus on yourself and leave everyone else alone -- stop judging them and if you have the need to do good by all means go ahead, but you spoil it by expecting a certain outcome.

Have you read Corinthians lately? You need more love, big guy. Without it, good deeds are hollow.

I've had the same experience with volunteering. Volunteer organizations are full of people I can't stand - rude, stupid, annoying, self-important people, who often do not welcome new people who just want to help. My only advice to you is to find a cause that you really care about, or find a person or people you enjoy spending time with and join whatever they do.

Local level volunteer organizations resist new people, and many times will try to freeze you out. If you aren't a natural politician who enjoys forcing himself on people until they break down their barriers, this type of situation will never work for you. Keep looking.

I actually think there are **two** things going on here.

This resonates with me, because when I was in my 20's I was depressed, and tried volunteering to get out of my own head.

LW is lonely, depressed, empty, and hopes that this can be solved by volunteering. This is a logical line of thought, given all of the tv shows and movies about people giving of themselves and transforming their lives. Unfortunately in real life it rarely works that way.

Those feelings of loneliness must be addressed on their own.

I think Cary misunderstands, that it isn't about the nature of the work; I know that in my 20's, if picking up garbage would have made me feel less empty, I would have done it gladly.

I was very fortunate, that I found an excellent therapist, who helped me locate the source of that emptiness (nothing exciting, normal family stuff) and helped me to move on.

I now work for a nonprofit organization, whose mission I believe in, but this job would NOT have solved my loneliness, emptiness etc.

So LW, absolutely yes, volunteer for things you believe in, or if you like the people, but if you are trying to solve a larger personal issue, you might want to find professional help.

Good Luck