In our home, it's "my house, my rules." There will be no sleepovers of a sexual nature. I don't condone it for my children outside of marriage, period.

And I wholeheartedly agree with Margot. Sheesh, there's a strange girl sleeping in your home and you don't know her name, age, or where your son found her? How can anyone think this is a healthy sexual experience for either of them?

Call her parents. Now. Let them know where there daughter is, and what you saw. Pray to God they don't want to sue you.

And then talk to your son about respect: respect for your home, respect for this girl, and for himself. Find out if he plans to be in a relationship with her for the rest of his life -- because if there's a baby on the way, he will be. Let him know that this behavior will not be condoned under your roof.

Be his father, fer chrissakes.

I knew there would be some OUTRAGE* if I waited long enough. FFS , if you're using a computer, you're no longer a 1700s era pilgrim. The girl doesn't need a red A sewn to her forehead, nor does the boy need to be stoned to death. Ya'll don't even know who seduced who but you're ready to have the boy tossed in jail and the dad sued. If the WORST problem you have with your daughters is that they are sleeping with a boy getting straight A's and holding down two jobs, you'll be lucky. With your massive parenting skills you'll get your daughter married to a closeted gay man or serial abuser. Not every parenting solution is solved by more and more and more control. And you know what? Maybe your daughters are home every night by curfew, or maybe they just sneak out their windows once you're asleep. If you think you're smarter than your teenaged kids, you're deluding yourself. You're old, tired, and dying while they are full of energy and can out wait you.

Have a nice week ya'll.

*I guess some are still mourning over the death over the king of pop and Jeff Goldbloom

"Tell him to tell his gf that if she really loves him she'll have to do a lot of sucking and in return, he's willing to have vaginal intercourse once a week or so."

And I hope she informs him that HER performance of fellatio is contingent upon HIS performance of cunnilingus. His offer is essentially "blow me anytime I desire, and I might be willing to fuck you occasionally." God, that offends even me.

Last words of a soon-to-be Grandparent. What, you have a camera on them 24 hours a day? Wake up!

My parents thought they knew exactly what my straight-A, Yearbook photographer (one step below AV club) geeky butt was capable of in High School. Let's just say that when we compared notes (much later - when I was married and with child) they were a bit surprised.

People who sue other people or their kids or have 16-year-olds arrested are the INSANE ones. And likely causing a boat-load of issues that manifest themselves later in life.

So the choice can be between a little teen sex now or married with children to an abusive spouse, a pedophile or Mark Sanford? I know which one I'd choose...

A lot of good points have been made here about finding out who, and how old this girl is. Making sure you son and she are protecting themselves from both pregnancy and STDs is important, as is making sure that your sexually active kids are getting appropriate yearly check-ups, and are fully educated about the risks, responsibilities and the fun they can have if they are smart.

There is one real problem I have with the lw's son's behavior; he snuck somebody into the house and had them stay overnight without any word to his parent. That's not okay. It's not "his" house. Also, if the other kid was a minor, there is the issue of her parents. Did she make sure they knew where she was or were they frantically looking for her? If he and she are ready for sex, they ought to be ready to behave responsibly about it.

My parents had an open door policy, but they always knew who I was spending time with and who was on the property. They weren't breathing down my neck, but in making their home open to me an my friends, they set up some basic rules of courtesy and they took the time to get to know who was ambling through the door. It was a win/win because they knew what was going on, and we all treated them (and the property) with respect, because we were treated with respect.

One last thought, it is possible they didn't have sex. I went through a period in my late teens and early twenties when I had various friends, male and female, who crawled into bed together when we stayed over with each other. It was warm, comfortable and fun. It never went any further than that.

You took the words right out of my mouth....

Good luck LW.

--AND a LOT of people DID NOT have sex in their parents' house. That's absolutely disrespectful

I don't get how it's "disrespectful" for my first girlfriend and I to have had sex in my parents' house. For me, it was the most beautiful and loving experience of my entire life. What's disrespectful about that? I took care to keep it hidden from my parents, because no-one likes someone staring at them. But if my parents had found out, lost a sprocket, burst into the room and yelled that I was "disrespecting" them somehow, it would simply have been bizarre, and I would have thought they'd lost their marbles because they couldn't deal with sex like adults.

Regarding the legal issues, and the fact that the parents would be liable to lawsuit, or--God, that some people are actually arguing that my girlfriend and I, a woman I was deeply in love with, should have been thrown in jail!--I do say that that stinks, and it is something a kid should be educated about and deal with. If someone can wait for years, that's great. But as Dr. Phil says, "how's that workin' for ya?" In other words, exactly how many teens do you expect to obey the rule that "only when you leave my home can you ever have any sex"? If there's a huge number that simply won't (many of them among the kids of the stricter parents here), then you've got a problem.

I'm not advocating "being a pal to your kids" instead of laying down the law. But when someone's 16 or 17, that's about the time when they're going to start deciding things for themselves. If you haven't raised them to do their own thinking by that time, but to remain children in other ways even as they're getting their first jobs, then you are the ones who aren't doing your jobs.

Those advocating prison for two 17-year-old kids in love should be ashamed of themselves. People are so proud and quick to say "prison for everyone!", as long as it's not them. I hope that you are always treated with more understanding and empathy than that, in your lives.