I wouldn't assume he's NOT antisemitic, just because he's clearly misogynist. You forgot something, though. The fact that he's a dick. Too bad, actually. I still held to the quaint notion that there really WAS something revelatory about doing mushrooms. Sigh. Guess not. Or, maybe, all it reveals is that if you are kind and loving deep down, you can now bring it to the surface. If you are a dick deep down, well, it all hangs out, in a manner of speaking.

If you don't know if you are comfortable or not, Dad, my advise is to get less comfortable. And going forward, despite some of the advise otherwise, it is incredibly irresponsible for a father to knowingly allow his 17 year old son to bring a teen girl into his home to have sex with her.

The argument that they are going to do it anyway is the same kind of mind set that believes it's better to have the kids drinking beer in the basement than "somewhere else".

You are in charge. Be in charge, get in touch with the girl's parents, asap, (be prepared for some pretty pointed questions from the girl's parents like "you mean, you didn't wake them up?), and don't turn your house into a teen hotel. Raise the behavior and responsibility bar. Dad, this isn't a Hollywood movie.

Horniness, obviously. But is he under pressure to demonstrate he's "scoring" to the other guys at school? The desire for peer acceptance causes a lot of kids to make bad decisions.

I can remember my father being far more concerned that his sons not adopt the attitude of women as meat, which he had seen in the military while stationed in Korea, than he was about chaperoning me. I waited until after I had left my parents home to have sex precisely to avoid this sort of situation.

I haven't read all the letters, so maybe someone else brought this up. BUT...

...the girl's parents? Their daughter was M.I.A. in the middle of the night and they didn't know? That's kinda scary to me.

I think Herr LW needs to find out their names & telephone # and have a short but meaningful conversation with them. In my experience, having Mom & Dad know kinda takes all the fun out of sex. There's no need for yelling---just get them up to speed and let them handle things. Assuming of course that they'd be unhappy about their child having a slumber party at the BF's house. Which at 16 they bloody well oughta.

Wow, you really took the bait Greeneyedkzin. What if I had substituted "Jewess" for French, German, Italian, or other European ethnicity, there would have been no outrage. Perhaps I could have placed my adjectives and adverbs a bit better I'll admit, but an anti-Semite I am not; since I'm kind of Jewish although not formally (mom isn't Jewish, but a distant relative was), I have lots of Jewish friends, and I've donated to Jewish causes. I know feigned outrage is fashionable these days, but truth be told, it doesn't look very good.

Misogynist? Well, my experience with that vile person could make any man a misogynist essentially speaking. But not all women or Jewish women, or Jewish women from New Jersey for that matter are like that one I dated. I forget the term, but it's easy to subconsciously categorize things. E.g., I meet another lady from New Jersey who happens to be Jewish and my heuristic of Jewish women from New Jersey being filthy whores leads me to approach with caution. This one is :gasp!: different, we're good friends for a couple months, then we have a relationship where I'm not being used, then either we have a mutual separation and are still friends but still had good sexy times or we get married, mazel tov!

Contextually, I'm saying that this guy's kid has something a lot healthier than what I had with this lady, who was using my inexperience with sex to get my money (her being Jewish is purely incidental btw, as opposed to being fundamental).

Oh, and what's with the mushroom talk? Peyote is a cactus, not a fungus. DUH! =P

Agree with poster SVS-NS that the more relevant point in 2009 is the emotional aspect of a sexual relationship at 17. (I am not sure if this is different for boys than girls at this age.) I am the mother of a daughter of 17. These days,most reasonably educated kids already know everything about birth control, not just from school and careful parenting, but from magazines and TV. And yes, I have had the talk with her, and no, I don't want her to sneak out at night to a boy's bed. However, as other posters have said so eloquently, the intensity of their sexuality at this age is like a tidal wave. Forbidding an older teenager to see or have sex with the one they intend to, is an exercise in futility.

My biggest concern is the protection of my daughter's heart, and the little pill she takes cannot do that.I think it is very important to give your older teenager understanding and love, as well as reasonable household rules, so that when the flame of young love/lust burns out they will know they are still valued.

My "first love," was my senior year in college (yes college, not high school...needless to say, I covet high school boys with the utmost envy) with some nasty hairy Jewess from New Jersey, who was really just a trollop with a lot of experience who was using my inexperience to eventually lure me into loaning her money, getting her out of binds, and finally culminating into me just giving her money for a $349.42 parking ticket and telling her to get the hell out of my life. This experience could very well end up making me gay, but a flight to Amsterdam, an 8 ball of coke, and a trio of buxom Dutch hookers is the likely contingency for me to reevaluate my perspective on my relationships with women.

Henry Miller, is that you?