I was eighteen, my boyfriend was eighteen. At my house my mother demonised him - no surprise, she demonised me, and, obviously disappointed that I had found someone to love me, made me as uncomfortable as possible.

At my boyfriends house they welcomed me with open arms. They supported and encouraged our love.

What happened? I moved in to their house, and to this day I thank them for allowing me to have that incredible experience - first love - as positively as possible.

The boy in question in this letter sounds wonderful. His dad should be THRILLED. Everything is going well, including, it seems like, his sex/emotional/love life.

Now is the time, as another letterwriter said, I think, to lay down some ground rules. eg no Hef's den. And to get to know your son better. ie who is this girl? does he care about her? How does he feel?

Better than the dad talking to him, wich is bound to be awkward at best, is if another family friend could do it. Find out the details, talk about priorities and how things might go.

One's first experiences of sex and love can affect you for life - in my case tremendously positively - and the family's attitude has a huge role to play in that.

I say: Sex is great. Love is great. Bring it on.

Gov Perry of Tx just vetoed a law that would have kept an 18 year old boy who had relations with a girl who said she was 16 ( and was driving a car) from having to register on the sex offender list a-which will follow him for LIFE. In fact she was 14. This is after he spent 4 years in jail for said offense, after being caught by her grandmother en flagrante at the girls home..Don't let this be your son- know the law , and know that girls lie about their age. Once he becomes 18 he will be judged as an adult.

Being a registered sex offender makes early pregnancy look quaintly nostalgic.

Living in the days of the self righteous Christians has become downright dangerous for the young.

The talk with the son should include more than just legal advice and sex ed. If he is ready for sex he is ready to take responsibilty for his actions and not sneak around. He needs to be honest with you about the relationship and treat the girl like a person, not something to hide. If he still feels the need to hide his relationship, like it is something to be ashamed of, then he isn't ready for the responsibility a sexual relationship involves. The girl is a person not a conquest and father should treat her that way. It would be a good lesson for his son to insist that he meet the girl in a social setting and learn more about her.

I'm amazed at how many people think sex talk begins and ends with contraception, STDs and pregnancy. Sex is a part of successful relationships, but frequently wrapped up with all sorts of new emotions: jealousy, lust, sexual conquest, wanting proof of adulthood.

I'd have some talks about the role of sex in a healthy relationship and alternatives to sex if you're just feeling horny and seeing your partner as a sex object rather than a person. (Yeah, it happens).

He didn't fall apart, yell, take away his son's housekey (CF: LW of last Thursday). He just got shocked. Understandable.

And now is wondering: is there something else I should be doing?

Well, yeah, and establishing boundaries (no overnights in my house, Kid) is a start. As others have pointed out, sexually active teenagers are not unheard of, but there are lifelong consequences to being CARELESSLY sexually active, so his son needs to be careful.

All in all, a sensible LW. Amazing.

Stan: But Chef, when IS the right time for us to start having sex?

Chef: It's very simple, children; The right time to start having sex is…seventeen.

Kyle: Seventeen?

Chef: Seventeen.

Sheila: So, you mean seventeen as long as you're in love?

Chef: Nope, just seventeen.

Gerald: But what if you're not ready at seventeen?

Chef: Seventeen. You're ready.

There's a time and a season for all things. 17 is the time and season for being stupid, hopefully not too stupid (i.e., having unprotected sex), but thinking you're in love when in reality you're just resolving the genital phase of your subconscious with that special someone. In all honesty, this most likely won't last, but it will be some nice schtupping with a young ripe lolita.

My "first love," was my senior year in college (yes college, not high school...needless to say, I covet high school boys with the utmost envy) with some nasty hairy Jewess from New Jersey, who was really just a trollop with a lot of experience who was using my inexperience to eventually lure me into loaning her money, getting her out of binds, and finally culminating into me just giving her money for a $349.42 parking ticket and telling her to get the hell out of my life. This experience could very well end up making me gay, but a flight to Amsterdam, an 8 ball of coke, and a trio of buxom Dutch hookers is the likely contingency for me to reevaluate my perspective on my relationships with women.

Psychoanalytically, when it ends (which is highly probable), both your son and his girlfriend will have their genital phases resolved, albeit being a little heart broken, but will have learned an important lesson about being safe (hopefully), moving on, and the complexities of sexual relationships in the 21st century. This is natural, and much more healthy than the product fundamentalist Christianity has made me into--always thinking maybe this will be the party or social situation that will finally get me laid tonight.

Anti-Semitic little mushroom, aren't you?

Drop dead.

I am surprised no one took issue with the LW's plan to remind his son that he should keep protection handy because "he comes from a long line of successful impregnators." Maybe it was the choice of the word "impregnator", but for some reason that has a "You were an accident" ring to it. Like a sort of "I didn't use protection and look where it got me" kind of vibe. Which - since he obviously cares enough about his kid to want to do a good thing for him here - I'm assuming is not the message he means to send.

That your son was an regretful accident is probably not what you meant at all, LW. Maybe you meant, "Men in our family are especially fertile, so it's important that you are extra careful." But as a recent teenage daughter myself (of separated parents, no less) I know that I thought and cared - and still do - a lot more about the things my parents said to me than I ever showed or admitted. I know I would have picked up on even an unintentional insinuation, no matter how slight, that I was a mistake my parents spent their lives paying for...and that it might have sent me into an emotional tailspin.

Certainly you'd want to warn your son that having sex can lead to an unwanted pregnancy. I guess I would just be a bit careful about accidentally suggesting that he was one.

Just my two cents.