Seems everyone thinks sex ed ends with birth/death control. How about teaching him a few pointers about how to be successful (not in terms of quantity, but of quality).

My advice is to mind your own business.

As long as the kid is a minor in his care, he is at least partially responsible for his whereabouts, actions, and well-being. It's not like he walked in on his son at age 35 in a private hotel suite or something.

People are acting like the only issue here is whether or not the LW's a prude about teen sex. That's just part of the issue here: A teenager brought an UNKNOWN girl into the father's house ON THE SLY.

If I were the parent I'd feel disrespected, and a little concerned that I was so in the dark about all of it. Even if the LW is cool with teen sex as a concept, part of giving the son a *healthy* attitude about it is to have respect for it. There's a huge difference between parental approval of relationships, and of hook-up sex. You don't have to be a prude about sex to not give your teen free reign to bring home just anyone. (I'm not even saying hook ups are "bad". But they're not for emotional/sexual novices, for lack of a better way to say it.)

And no he can't stop the son from doing what he wants with his body, but LW can darn well not allow the boy to help himself to the house as if he owns it. If the girl was a girlfriend, that would be (perhaps) another thing, but then the father should at least have met her. Whatever she was, the feeling from the letter is that this was meant to be on the sly. That, I would not be allowing. I'm not saying I'd want all the details of my son's private life, but if you're going to bring it in MY house, while I'M HOME, I darn well have a right to be at least somewhat clued in.

I actually believe the advice I just read from this moron. Unbelievable. Typical liberal. (Is that supposed to be a drawing of you, Cary? Looking confused, undecisive, wimpy?)

Let me advise this parent: GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS! You're a pussy, probably a hippy, and a fucked-up parent if your seventeen-year-old knows he can get away with bringing a sixteeen-year-old girl into your house for the night.

You yank her ass out of bed, take her home to her parents - yes, at 4:30 am - and wake those parents up and tell them exactly what you found. Then you go home and nail your son's balls to the wall so he can't reach a phone or computer for a month. Put a Bill Bennett book in his hands, write a 5000 word essay on what he learned from it, and let him know that anything like that happens again he won't just get his balls nailed to the wall.

Fuck! We have children raising children - or at least people in their 40s who never grew up and would rather be friends to the children than parents. God help us. (And we take advice from a numbnut like this columnist?)

I am a teacher. I am so sick and tired of parents who want to be their kid's FRIEND instead of their parent. This isn't about feeling "comfortable" for God's sake. This is about potentially breaking the law, potentially fathering an unwanted baby and potentially passing along a sexually transmitted disease.

This father could have quietly asked the girl to get dressed and go home. He could have told his son to get dressed and meet him in another room. This was the prime time to have a conversation about personal responsibility. There are so many kids out there aching for an adult who will love them enough to try to prevent them from making a huge mistake. 17 year old boys think they are adults and know all the answers. Well, they don't.

A slap upside the head to this dad...wake up sir, before your son messes up his and her life.

Asking someone else how to set guidelines for their own son under their own roof .... ?

You are pathetic .....

After reading the comments most of you appeasers and idiots have written, if I find out any father who finds my sixteen-year-old daughter in his house in his son's bed at 4:30 in the morning and doesn't bring her right home to me, I'm coming to your house and kicking your ass all over the fucking place. Sue me.

last week ( or so It seems) there was a letter from a Mom about her daughter hiding a boy in the closet- and this week a son with a girl in the bed.

Cary- are you making these up? because if you are - you should have better answers.

LW- if you wake up and some stray kid is in your house- wake their ass up and ask them if their parents know where they are!!! and then CALL the parents on the phone and tell them- "Hey , your kid is here, not splattered all over the highway or dead in a ditch".

Yes, your son is lovely- however, he should not be having sleepovers without you meeting the friend and making sure that YOU TALK TO THEIR PARENTS and verify that they indeed know their kid is at your house.

This is called common sense. It is also called Taking Responsibility for your home.

Cary- stop already. You suck at giving parenting advice because- duh- you know nothing about it. Stick to angst filled letters about purposelessness and whiny letters about "how much I hate my job".

You are assholes for wanting to ruin a young boys life, forever, for wanting to file charges for statutory rape. WTF? And it takes two to tango, she's not without blame, she has a raging sex drive too...or is your little girl's cherry so precious that you have to punish someone for life--geez, grow the hell up, face reality--kids are horny--and handle it like sane adults--inform the parents, talk with the kids about responsibility, consequences, respect, safe sex, not in my/our house, etc.

Also, the father did not allow it to happen, he stumbled upon them, and the other parents didn't even know where the hell their precious little daughter was at 4:30 a.m.

Grow the hell up you vindictive Puritan jerks. If I were your daughter, and you guys filed charges, I'd be shamed for the rest of my life and disown you. And to think I thought my dad was the biggest prick on the face of the earth.